How to Be a Good Listener

People love to talk about themselves. If you are speaking to someone and they are really listening to what you have to say and seem interested in you, doesn't it make them appear more interesting to you? I know it does for me. I want to know more about them. I love a good listener. A good listener is someone who really acknowledges what you say, questions you and generally seems interested in you. Most importantly, because they are listening to what you say, they usually remember things about you that you thought they might have forgotten after the conversation.

Communication is very important in relationships. You might hear someone complain that their husband or wife never listens to them. If you learn to listen to people, your relationships and friendships might grow stronger. Start out by becoming fascinated with people. Everyone has a story or something to say. You might learn some new things by giving some your full attention. When you talk to someone, don't look away, put your head down, talk over them or play with your hands. Look the person in the eyes when they are telling you something. Nod or shake your head when necessary. Show them that you are interested in hearing what they have to say by your actions.

If something is distracting you, tune it out or turn it off. If you are on the phone with someone and your television is on and it is loud and distracting, go and turn it off. Make sure you have no distractions or at least if you can't help it, tune out the distractions and act like the other person's words are the only thing you are focused on.

Ask questions about them. When you ask questions about something that someone just said, it shows that you are interested and involved in the conversation. When they give you an answer, make sure to really hear the answer.

If you have a lot on your mind, sometimes it is hard to concentrate on what someone else is saying. You might even be thinking about what you are going to say next. In order to truly listen to someone, you need to forget about yourself for the moment and get absorbed in the conversation at hand. Like I said before, it is important to tune out distractions, even the ones in your own mind. Give your full attention to the speaker. You would want someone to do the same for you.

Don't interrupt the person who is speaking. Let them answer you and continue talking if they wish. You can talk about yourself or anything else, but don't let yourself dominate the conversation. Try to keep it a two way conversation so that you both get to express yourselves. Did you ever meet a person who just keeps talking and talking and doesn't let you get a word in edgewise? If you do happen to get a couple words out, it looks like they aren't even paying attention. Most people find those kind of people to be annoying and try to avoid them. Everyone likes talking to someone who will listen. If no one ever listened, what would be the point of having a conversation with someone?