How to Be a Good Wingman While Networking

Wingmen (though the person could be of either gender, for simplicity, we'll use the male) assist - and are seen as teamed with - the "alpha."

For instance, Goose was the perfect wingman for Maverick in Top Gun. Art Garfunkel helped Paul Simon build a Bridge Over Troubled Water. And George Burns had Gracie Allen. It's tough to think of one without the other.

And both are elevated as a result of the partnership. While two people might obtain a measure of success on their own, one would be inevitably more successful than the other. This person, in a team, becomes the alpha, while the other takes on the role of wingman. And, while some might view the wingman as a subordinate role, it's important to keep in mind it's a supporting role. A good wingman elevates the alpha as well as him or herself by elevating the partnership.

But what makes a good wingman?

Branding. John Oates is an excellent example of a wingman who knows how to brand a relationship. It's nearly impossible to think about him or his alpha without the other. As such, Hall & Oates has become one of the successful musical duos of all time. A good way to help brand your connection with an alpha is to mention the relationship casually (e.g. "Smith and Jones" or "Sam and Joe") in conversation. By repeatedly mentioning the "brand name," people will begin to associate you with your alpha.

Defer. All good wingmen know their place in the relationship. While they have their own personalities and are independent individuals, inside of their relationships with their alphas, they are content with second billing. John Oates knows, for example, that Daryl Hall gets top billing in their act, and is apparently quite content with it. Not only does this help build the brand (see above), but it also builds the alpha even more - particularly after you've already demonstrated your own talents. When you're considered a "player," and you defer to your alpha, your alpha will be perceived even better. Remember, as your alpha's reputation increases, so too will yours.

Assist and advise. Wingmen help build their reputation and earn their chops by assisting and building up their alphas. But as they earn their stripes, they also are turned to for advise. When the alpha asks for advice from the wingman in public, the wingman's stock soars. Word of mouth spreads about the wingman's expertise. After building your brand, an easy way to do this is to ask the alpha ahead of time to defer a few questions to you when you're in public.

IN A NUTSHELL: A good wingman defers to and advises the alpha, as well as builds the team brand.