How to Be a Gracious Host or Hostess

It is always enjoyable to throw a successful dinner party or event in your home. However, the responsibilities of being a host can feel overwhelming. Rather than describe dining and social etiquette in detail, complete with formal rules, I will be telling you about the all-too-important art of being gracious.

Be a servant.As their host or hostess, you will be entertaining and feeding your guests. As such, you will be playing the part of a humble servant, with the complete intention of making them feel at ease and comfortable. Take their coats, hand them drinks, offer them seats, and introduce them to other guests using the following formula. First, introduce each person to the other, using full names. Then, in two or (at most) three descriptive sentences, describe each person to the other. Like this: "Ruby, this is James Taylor. James, this is Ruby Mace. James is district manager of this area's Woodcraft Hardware stores. He goes motor boating with Tom every weekend. Ruby is a second-grade school teacher. She organizes our church's Bible studies and singles' events."

Quickly cover mistakes and make light of them. If someone should accidentally say something inappropriate at the dinner table, it is not good manners to allow a pause or awkward silence to ensue. In this instance, do not cater to the needs of the many, but to the tastes of the guest in question. Choosing a topic in between their crude remark and what is socially acceptable, make a light joke in order to ease them back into tolerant society and make their comment appear innocently intended.

If someone leaves blood stains, wine stains, or their kids break a precious glass vase, quickly draw the attention of your guests to another part of the house or room and clean the mess yourself. If you cannot accomplish this without drawing attention to the matter, cover the glass or stain with a cloth napkin and return to your guests until you can do something about the cleanup.

Never mention the incident to anyone, even the guest in question (unless it is blood and they need to be informed of something of which they may not be aware) and be sure to invite them back, in case they are aware of their mistake and believe that they may have damaged future hope of receiving an invitation from you. If the subject arises, convincingly shrug it off and act as if it was nothing.

Pamper your guests.Welcoming someone into your home is like welcoming them into a five-star resort hotel. Make sure that they receive the best, the finest quality of your amenities, and that they have all of their potential needs fully met. Be sure that your bathrooms are fully stocked with toilet paper, tissue paper, feminine products (both pads and tampons), and plenty of soft guest towels. Have plenty of food and drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic, clearly marked) readily available. Do not be overly fussy about spilled food or drinks or messes which are created. Do not allow your guests to see your displeasure at all. Laugh and tell them it doesn't matter, just leave it. Also, it is a good idea to see to it that all guests have access to entertainment, such as an indoor swimming pool, an in-home theater system (with plenty of movies to choose from), or a library and interesting art to look at and discuss.

Being a gracious host or hostess means that you will be on your toes most of the time, making sure that everyone is enjoying themselves, is being included in conversations, and is relaxing and making use of your wonderful home.