How to Make the Great Fort Wayne Tuna Salad Sandwich Meal

Since spring is just around the corner, it is important to line your cupboards with those recipes and ingredients that serve you well during this time of year.
Nothing is more spring like or unhealthy than The Great Fort Wayne Tuna Salad Meal.

In the mid-1960's Fort Wayne, Indiana was often used as a market research platform. Residents and companies rationalized this by stating that Fort Wayne was a homogenized area - meaning a diverse city- with all of kinds of different populations - yet small enough to get a good representation of what the country as a whole would enjoy or use. So, our city markets would often carry products that the city residents would come to know, use, and enjoy only to see them fly off the shelves in a period of 6 months to a year.

So, it was with a product known as Tuna Quick. Tuna Quick was just that. If you bought a can of tuna, a box of Tuna Quick and a jar of mayo, a consumer could have a bowl of tuna salad within a period of 5 minutes. It wasn't bad either - those of us in the city got used to it- and were all saddened when it, like so many products before, disappeared, never to be seen again.

However, in retaliation, and because spring was always just around the corner, the recipe for The Great Fort Wayne Tuna Salad Sandwich Meal became a part of my recipe collection and so, for those of you, who love quick, fun, and mostly unhealthy meals; I present The Great Fort Wayne Tuna Salad Sandwich Meal. Enjoy! And make sure to take a multi-vitamin if continuing to eat these kinds of meals. Your body will love you.

First, gather all ingredients:

1 large can of Chicken of the Sea Tuna (oil or water based, what's the diff?)
1 jar of Hellmann's Mayonnaises
1 medium onion
1 bag of ready cut lettuce based veggie- every kind of lettuce, carrots, snow peas, bean sprouts
1 stalk celery
Lemon juice (that's the secret ingredient)
1 loaf of white Wonder Bread

1 bag of Ruffles Potato Chips
1 liter of full-blooded Pepsi - no diet!

Cut ½ of the onion into eighths
Cut 1 stalk of celery into eighths

Combine ½ bag of veggies, onion, and celery along with 4 tablespoons of mayo into large serving bowl.
Place entire can of tuna into bowl
Stir, until thickened
Release 2-3 drops of lemon juice into mixture

Drop 4-5 tablespoons of mixture onto 1 slice of bread - then place other slice on top of it-pat with medium pressure. Make sure pressure is not too heavy so that mixture does not fall out all over the dish.

Cut into halves

Place sandwich onto serving dish

Open Bag of Ruffles- take out 2-4 handfuls

Drop on serving dish

Next, use large drinking glass for Pepsi

Use ice cubes per personal taste

Preferably, this meal can be an accompaniment with spring-like activities such as watching the 101 Greatest Celebrities OOPS on E! Network or more stringent activities such as Soap Opera marathons, or Supernanny Marathons. At the end of the day, the restlessness that comes with Spring fever might force you to get up and change the channel, but this time period can be used for making a second or even a third helping if time allows.