How to Get Your Guy's Attention

Everyone knows the cliché. A guy at the breakfast table with a newspaper in front of his face, grunting automatically at the appropriate spots, while his wife tries to talk to him. After several minutes of this she tears away the paper and demands to know if he's listening. Though it may not always happen at the breakfast table with a newspaper (or in front of a television with a ball game going) this scenario plays out in the lives of many couples day in and day out. Many women are at their wits' end trying to get their spouses to hear what they are trying to say. If you find yourself in this situation often, it could be because you are using the wrong approach.

Nine times out of ten, the right approach is about nothing more than timing. If you wait until your husband is reading the paper or enjoying a ball game to discuss garbage duties, he is not going to be as responsive as he would be if you caught him when he wasn't doing something. If you would rather he didn't read the paper at the breakfast table, and to have meaningful conversation with you instead, discuss this with him at a different time - when he's relaxed but not engaged. But remember, he has the right to read at breakfast if he wants to. Perhaps he simply isn't up to conversation the moment he rolls out of bed.

If you are trying to change a behavior, you must remember that you're not dealing with a dog or a child, but your equal. Just because you'd like him to take off his socks at the hamper as soon as he comes into the bedroom for the night, instead of waiting until he's in bed and dropping them on the floor, and forgetting to pick them up the next morning while he dresses for work, doesn't mean it's going to happen. Perhaps he's taken off his socks while in bed his entire life. Perhaps it is part of his comfort ritual.

It doesn't, however, hurt to bring it up if you really would like him to do things differently. However, if he doesn't snap to immediately, don't allow it to upset you. It isn't like socks on the floor is the end of the world.

Now, if he's reneging on an agreement that the two of you have made, such as always forgetting to take out the trash when it's his night, you will have to remind him of the agreement and let him know that it concerns you that he's not pulling his share of the trash duties. If he's great at doing other chores, you may consider taking on all of the trash duties yourself and leaving him to do things he enjoys more. You hate taking out the trash too? That means he's won if you decide to make it your job, then, right? Only if your relationship is a competition and you're playing for points.

When it comes right down to it, a lot of battles are fought over a sense of fairness. Couples "should" on themselves constantly: "I shouldn't have to pick up after you," and "You should do things the way I want you to do them." We seem to go into relationships expecting the other person to try and get one over on us. That's an attitude we seriously need to drop if we want our partners to take us seriously. If you place just as much importance on the fact that he didn't pick up his socks as you place on his not calling to tell you he'd be out a few more hours with the guys and he isn't dead after all, then he is going to see both as trivial. If you choose your battles wisely, and don't forget to approach your guy politely, you may be surprised at how willing to listen he suddenly becomes.