How to Handle Your Child's Unfair School Referral

All children feel their school referrals are unfair. But what happens on the few rare occasions that your child really has received an unfair school referral? We try to teach our children that sometimes life isn't fair, but on the other hand, a child should not be punished for something he did not do. As a parent, there are steps you can take if you feel your child has received an unfair or undue school referral.

1) Make sure your child is honest with you and tells you the truth about the incident. Many a parent has gone to bat for their child, only to find out that they are not being truthful. Only you know your child and can tell if they are being honest or not.

2) If the incident resulting in the referral involved other students or teachers, ask them what they observed. Having an additional story to back up your child's, will be helpful

3) Contact your school's Principal to find out who handles referrals at the school. Sometimes it is the Principal himself, while other times it is the vice principal of the grade. Still some schools have Deans of Student Services that handle referrals.

4) Now that you have the facts about what occurred, talk to the individual about why you think your child's referral is unfair. Do not argue emotionally, but argue the facts. Your child's referral might be dismissed. The more likely scenario is that the punishment might not be as severe. For example, if your child is given three days in school detention, you might be able to talk the dean into a day.

5) As a last resort, you can always take your case to the school board. This is where you decide if the referral is worth it. If your child is accused of something trivial, it might not be worth the effort. If the accusation is more severe, this might be your best bet. Remember that you want to reserve this option for when you might really need it.

While your efforts may not get the referral dismissed, your child will know that you believe in him and will stand up for him. While the school might be unfair, your child will feel better knowing he can count on.