How to Handle a Clingy Child

Most children will eventually go through a phase where they tend to cling to one parent or another but for some children it can last for a while. These children will often act scared, shy away from strangers or even acquaintances and some cases may even cry if they feel their parent is going to "leave" them. There are ways to help encourage children to be more independent even at earlier ages. Here are some tips to help parents dealing with clingy children so they will learn to be independent and happy.

The first step to helping your toddler or child gain independence is to reassure them. Many children will cling to parents because they are afraid and are unsure about their environment especially if they are brought to a new place. Parents can reassure their child by acting confident themselves and relaxed. Children, even babies, pick up on their parent's feelings. When the parent is relaxed and calm the child will be more receptive to being this way themselves. If a child or baby begins to show signs they are scared and begin to cling to their parent the parent should pat the child on the back, smile and keep telling them it's okay. Eventually the child will understand it is "okay" and they will relax more and cling less.

If a parent is introducing the child to a new routine or a situation where they will be leaving them for a period of time such as Sunday School or daycare, parents may want to first ease them into the situation by sitting with them for a few classes. As the child starts to show independence and play on their own, parents should take advantage of this time to leave the room for a few minutes. Simply telling the child "Mommy/Daddy will be right back" and walking out for a while will get them used to the idea it's okay their parent is leaving and will be back. While some situations are tough, such as the first day of school, parents should avoid letting their child know they themselves are a bit sad. Parents should be prepared that their child may cry a bit at first and it is okay to come in and comfort them for a few minutes and try to leave again.

As children become comfortable in new situations they should be encouraged to try new things such as sports, boy scouts, girl scouts or other hobbies parents think they will enjoy. All of this will help the child be comfortable in new settings and parents and kids will enjoy the new-found independence and freedom.