How to Handle Disagreements

All of us have had disagreements with someone. Many times these disagreements end negatively, feelings are hurt, or we reach a stale mate and nothing is changed for the better or for the worse. Sometimes constant disagreements flare into outright shouting matches, or even worse-the end of a relationship. It is inevitable that disagreements will come our way so is it possible to have a disagreement peacefully? What does it mean to agree to disagree? By closely examining how we handle disagreements, we can learn a lot about ourselves and the people we are dealing with. Disagreements can become a springboard in our relationships helping us to grow and change.

1. One of the first things to remember when faced with a disagreement is to stay calm. If you feel that you are getting upset, remove yourself from the situation. It is better to wait until you are calm and can rationally speak your thoughts.

2. Although you disagree with the other party, remember to show respect. They will be more willing to listen and understand what you are saying when you remain respectful during the disagreement. Be an attentive listener and be mindful of the comments that you make. Remember to watch the tone of your voice and your facial expressions.

3. When faced with a disagreement, be honest and upfront about the situation, the facts, and your feelings. Use statements such as, "when this happens, I feel" or "this makes me feel". This is a much better approach than making accusatory statements such as, "You make me feel" or "It's your fault".

4. Listen to everything the other person has to stay and look for a common objectives, feelings, and interests. Use these as a ground to bring better understanding to the situation and to each other. These are your anchors that can keep the relationship strong.

4. Remember that it's okay if you don't win the disagreement. The purpose is to bring a better understanding of each other and not to see who wins. This means that you need to be willing to compromise. If the disagreement begins to turn into a fighting match, no one will win so a compromise is needed.

There will always be disagreements as we go through life, but we can choose how we will handle them when they arise. By stepping back and evaluating our responses and the responses of others during disagreements, we can adapt our communication to be more effective and empathic during the most tense moments of a disagreement.

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