How to Handle a Flirty Boss

It's somewhere between sexual harassment and annoying juvenile hormonal awkwardness. Having a boss who is flirty but doesn't directly make advances can be a tricky situation to handle. While you couldn't exactly go to his boss and claim that he was sexually harassing you because he smiled at you the wrong way, you know in your gut when a male superior is trying to flirt without getting into trouble. He's trying to get his point across without giving you a clear reason for reporting him. Unfortunately, you'll have to handle this one on your own. Try following these tips for quieting your flirty male boss, without causing any embarrassment for yourself in the process.

First, always look a flirty male superior directly in the eyes when speaking to him, especially when responding to his inappropriate hints. You might notice that he usually approaches you when you are looking at your computer screen or scanning over reports. This is a major indicator of his intentions to flirt without any repercussions, as he feels that if you can't see his face, you might not be able to see right through him. Look up and into his eyes firmly and abruptly, and let him know that you are more than aware of what's going on.

Next, be loud and firm in all discussions, requests, and remarks with your flirty and unprofessional boss. While you certainly do not have to yell or make a scene, you can be direct and very professional in your conversations. Your voice should not be forced, but it should have a tone that says "I'm not here to play." Don't smile too much or make light small talk as you would with other employees or superiors. That is, at least until he learns to back off. Until then, don't give him the slightest reason to think that you have any intentions of letting your guard down around him.

On that note, keep all conversations with your boss brief and to the point until he learns to quiet his flirty advances. Again, this is to further let him know, beyond all doubt, that there is not a chance in this world that you will change your mind or that you have any intentions of starting an unprofessional relationship with him. Even if a real relationship isn't on his mind, something else is, so don't give him a chance to daydream.

Next, consider forming a group or clique at work to strengthen your presence. Now, understand that this is not to be confused with a social clique, but loners are often targeted by flirty bosses because they seldom present the problem of being in a group (meaning more private flirting opportunities are available). Those who have other office connections and are likely to talk with other employees about concerns or complaints are less likely to be approached by flirtatious superiors. Therefore, think of your office connections as your team, to be used as a sounding board and a buffer without compromising your professional appearance. As an added bonus, this can actually make you look like more of a team player to upper management, meaning that you'll be more likely to get noticed for all the right reasons by a superior next time.

Finally, be careful about what kind of body language you are using in front of your boss. Always sit up straight, bend down like a lady, and avoid stretching or relaxing too much. Women often don't realize just how hard men are looking for a reason to stare them down, meaning that a movement that is innocent and normal to you may be enticing to him. Not only that, but he may misinterpret this kind of body language as flirting from you. While it is a bother, keep your posture charm school perfect while in your flirtatious boss's presence.

Remember, be firm, be serious, and be surrounded by those whose presence will deter your boss from any unsolicited flirtation. With the right attitude, he should get the message and back off in no time. If not, you will at least be protecting yourself from dirty rumors, which will come in handy when it's time to turn your office onlooker in to the appropriate sexual harassment personnel.