How to Handle Friends' or Neighbors' Misbehaving Kids

Have you ever invited friends or neighbors over for dinner and were shocked by their children's behavior? What do you do if their kids misbehave and the parents don't do anything about it? How do you handle the situation?

Do you bite your tongue and silently wish the night away? Can you speak up and say something without crossing over the line? What can you do?

First, if you value the friendship with the parents, tread very carefully. Parents can become very defensive and protective when someone criticizes their child. If at all possible, let the behavior slide. Up to a point, anyway. Of course, if you have a child sitting there, overlooking the behavior can be quite difficult.

There are some things you can do. If, for instance, the child constantly interrupts others' conversations, sit quietly until the child finishes, then turn back to the person interrupted and apologize. Even though the child isn't yours, you can still let everyone know you don't approve of the child's behavior. This might also encourage the parents to speak up the next time it happens.

Don't encourage the child's behavior by giving him an audience. These children often like being the center of attention. If he interrupts, let him finish, but don't acknowledge his remarks if possible. Simply go back to your own conversation.

If the child's bad behavior continues after dinner, you may want to simply cut the evening short. It would be an excellent time for a migraine headache to start coming on. And if the child's behavior has been pretty bad, that might really be happening. It might also subtly send a message to the parents. Don't count on this, though. Parents can be blind to their children's behavior.

However, some behavior doesn't have to be tolerated. Hitting your child or causing damage to your home or furniture are two examples of behavior that needs to be stopped at once, if not by the parents, then by you. For example, if your child comes to you and tell you the other child hit him, you should immediately call both children in and ask what happened. Explain to the other child that hitting is not allowed in your home. The same is true with behavior that could result in damage to your home's furniture.

If the child's behavior has been so bad that you don't want to be around them again, but would like to remain friends with the parents, you will have to find ways to make it an adult friendship. This can be quite tricky if both of you have kids, especially if the kids are about the same age. If the parents ask you and your kids over to their house for dinner, you could do one of two things.

One, you could go and hope that your children's behavior will have some influence on their children's behavior. This is, unfortunately, not very likely.

Or, you could simply decline and then suggest getting together some other time with the parents at an adults only type of restaurant or bar.

Dealing with someone else's misbehaving children can be a delicate matter. The best solution is to simply avoid any direct contact with the children as much as possible. By doing this, you stand a better chance of remaining friends with the parents.