How to Handle the Funeral Arrangements for Your Child if You Are Divorced

Losing a child is the ultimate pain that no parent should have to experience. A parent isn't supposed to outlive their child. Sometimes the pain can be slightly lessened by being surrounded by your family. But what if you're divorced from the child's other parent? While burying your child is the worse pain imaginable, it can be made even worse by battling with your ex over the funeral arrangements and the expenses.

Who should pay the funeral and burial expenses?

Funeral costs are like other expenses associated with your child. They should be paid equally by both parents as opposed to the parent with primary custody having to pay everything. If the child didn't have life insurance, their unexpected death can be a huge financial burden. And money is one of the things that people fight about most. On top of that, there can be so many decisions to make that it would be easy to disagree. In this situation, you need to remember that your child probably wouldn't want you to fight over the funeral arrangements.

Even if you aren't getting along with your ex, this is no excuse to stick the other parent with all of the associated expenses. But on the other side of that, if one parent wants to have all the bells and whistles, running the cost up significantly, if isn't fair to expect the other parent to pay exactly half of what is your own wishes. Funeral homes now sell all kinds of extras from wreaths to bookmarks. It isn't right for you to order these extras for your ex and then try to make them pay for it. Let your ex choose what they would like to order.

Who should get the child's belongings and pictures?

The child's belongings is another argument waiting to happen. One solution may be for each parent to have what they bought for the kid. However, this may be difficult to remember. Or better yet, donate everything to charity.

It's customary for a funeral home to want pictures of the deceased to put on display at the funeral. During the divorce, there was probably an argument over pictures and photo albums. If this wasn't decided amicably, then it's time to make it right. Just give in and pay to have copies made of all the pictures that you want that are in the other parent's possession. Don't use the funeral as an excuse to make another attempt to steal the pictures.