How to Handle the Grief on Mother's Day when Your Mom Has Passed Away

One of the hardest things in life is to lose your mother. On Mother's Day it's even harder. I lost my mother 21 years ago. This was the most devastating thing in life that I ever ever experienced. The first Mother's Day without my mom was excruciating. I didn't know what to do, think or feel, other than horrible pain. How was I ever gonna keep facing, every Mother's Day, year after year. It was unimaginable. I was so close with my mom. Over the years I have found different ways of dealing with the grief. I had too, or I would have never survived. Although the canyon in your heart can never be filled as once before, Mother's Day can be manageable and actually joyful once again. I know, if you just recently lost your mom it seems impossible, but it can happen.

I remember one of the very first things I did many years ago, was to buy flowers for my mom. Not to put on her grave, that I couldn't do, because I lived in Arizona and my mom was buried in New york. I went out and bought my mom's favorite colored carnations, pink. I set them on a little table and told my mom they were for her. Oddly Yenough, this gave me such a sense of peace, thinking I could still buy my mother something for Mother's Day. Sometimes, at least still having the ritual of the gift, can make you feel better. You may also want to go to a place that was very special for you and your mom. There you can remember all the fun and special times you had going there together. After all, we are creatures of habit, and this can give you a sense of security. Loosing a mom is hard but also losing all the things you use to do for your mom is an additional loss. So, make sure that you do something special for your mom on Mother's Day. This will keep the good memories in your heart.

Speaking of memories, it is very important to try to remember as many good memories about you and your mom as possible. I know it seems impossible. It seems like all you do is think about how you will never see her again, and how much that hurts. Grief is an insidious thing, that nags at us till we can't take it anymore. My suggestions is to focus on as many good memories as possible. Fill your mind with them till their is no more room in your head for grief. Rememberer, what we think about, we bring about. If you focus on grief, you will feel nothing, but grief. We can choose what we think, no matter how hard it is to do. Please know, I'm not trying to say you shouldn't have feelings, but try to make those feelings as pleasant as possible about your mom. Remember the good times. They did, and still do exist. Good memories are a God send to all.

Finally, try to get involved in family. If your a mother, enjoy your children. Let them spoil you, and allow them to enjoy their mother, which is you. Sometimes, we can be so grief stricken with the loss of our mother, we forget we have children that need us on Mother's Day. Get involved with them. Go out of your way to tell them wonderful stories about your mom, and your past memories of Mother's Days with her. This can truly bring about a sense of peace. Your mom may be physically gone, but the memories live on forever. Mother's Day is the perfect time to pass those wonderful stories down to your children. Don't be afraid to think about her. If you yourself are not a mom, get involved with your sister's or brother's kids, or anyone else's you may be close to. I bet they would want to hear about some wonderful memories you have.

Remember, your mom is always with you in your heart, soul and memories. She is only gone physically. You do not have to give up keeping her in your life, and sharing with others, the wonderful memories you will always have. Positive thoughts, memories, and rituals can help you remember the good things, and give you a sense of peace and security. So when Mother's Day comes around, remember till your heart's content.