How to Handle Holidays While Traveling Abroad

This week, after having lived in Malta for two years, I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving out of the USA. The first year was very hard as I acknowledged that my daughters, who live back in the US, would be celebrating at their father's house just like we used to when we were all together. Not exactly something that creates a festive spirit for me.

I soon realized, however, that a lot of people abroad feel the same way about holidays back home--whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's or another festivity like birthdays and anniversaries. Here are some of the things that have helped me--and may help you--cope with a holiday away from home:

1. Acknowledge your feelings of loss or sadness. Don't deny that you miss your kids or your mother's home cooking. Once you admit this fact, you can then talk to others who feel the same way.

2. Get in touch with your embassy to see if it will be holding any parties or holiday celebrations for its citizens living in the country. If the embassy isn't, you can certainly suggest the idea. ( Unfortunately, the US Embassy in Malta doesn't do anything for US citizens living in Malta.)

3. Attend expat meetings so you can find other people from your country who might be interested in planning a holiday celebration together.

4. Plan far enough in advance so that you'll have the best chance of finding your favorite holiday foods. But if you don't, try to substitute items and go on with your plans. For example, if I couldn't find a turkey for Thanksgiving, I would buy a chicken and go on from there.

5. Encourage your family back home to go on with their plans despite your absence. They're going to anyway, so try and accept it. Don't feel guilty and don't make them feel guilty because you're not there. And don't get resentful when they do enjoy themselves. When you think about it, that's really what you want for them..

6. Take full advantage of the Internet. Use SKYPE or another Internet phone system to call them in real time. Forget about how you look and turn on the video. Send photos, text message and chats to be part of their celebration--and for them to be part of yours.

7. Don't promise your family and friends that you'll be there next year for sure. That's something you can't be absolutely certain of.

8. Do plan another time when you can be back home and make up your own holiday celebration that covers some of the events you missed while you were abroad.

9. If you still feel down about missing a holiday at home, remember that many people feel sad or lonely during the holidays even if they are surrounded by friends or family. in fact, there may be many people who will envy your adventure abroad during the holiday season.

Ilene Springer lives and teaches EFL in Malta and is author of An-American-in-Malta.com.