How to Handle Insecurity Within Your Relationship

Insecurity in a relationship can be toxic. It leads to jealousy and mistrust. It can lead to control issues as well as cause a lot of stress and conflict within the relationship.

Insecurity can stem from different reasons, and it is important to evaluate where your insecurity is coming from in order to know how to deal with it. Most insecurity is based on either fact or fiction.

Fact based insecurity is insecurity that stems from your inner self warning you of something. This warning can be based on previous behaviors of your significant other, or something that has been reported to you by a trustworthy source regarding your significant other. If your partner has a history of infidelity, then your feelings of insecurity within the relationship are valid...at least until he proves himself trustworthy. If a trusted friend reports to you that he has seen your husband gambling his money away when he should be at work, then your feelings of insecurity are valid.

Fiction based insecurity generally comes from within. These feelings stem from your own feelings of unworthiness. This type of insecurity often leads to jealousy when there is no valid reason to be jealous. It can lead to wild imaginings that your partner is looking elsewhere for someone better than you and will leave you at the first chance he gets.

Sarah's relationship ended when her jealousy drove a wedge between her and her partner, Dan. They had lived together for two years and the jealousy became increasingly worse as the months passed. Sarah's jealousy was fiction based because Dan had never cheated on Sarah. Dan was very committed to the relationship and had no idea why Sarah was always accusing him of being unfaithful. In the end, after their relationship was over, Sarah was able to confront her own issues that led to her feelings of insecurity.

Insecurity within a relationship can either warn you of ultimate disaster or warn you of something that you need to address within yourself.

If your insecurity is fact based, then the best way to deal with it is to confront your partner about your reasons for feeling insecure. If there are issues that need to be addressed, this is the time to lay them all out on the table and either deal with them or make a decision to move on.

If your insecurity is fiction based, your feelings of insecurity are no less real. All that this means is that rather than confronting your partner, you will need to sit down and confront yourself. Ask yourself these questions: Why am I feeling so insecure? Why do I have such low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness? Is there something in my past that makes me feel insecure about every relationship that I have?

Handling the insecurity within your relationship will not be easy, but the end result will be worth it. It will enable you to develop a closer relationship with not only your significant other, but also with yourself.