How to Handle the Lack of Sex During Pregnancy

I'm writing this article for the men who may be struggling with the fact that women aren't as eager to be intimate during the pregnancy period. Guys, this is not the time to go into masturbation mode. Sex may have gotten you into this situation but it's not sex that will get you out of it. What you're dealing with now is normal. You have to keep the following things in mind:

1. Your wife's body is going through changes you can't fathom...

2. As your wife is going through these changes she may be trying to process them...

3. As her body changes so does her emotions, her feelings, her thoughts, and her energy...

4. Chances are she still wants intimacy, just not sex.

I know #4 messed up a lot of your minds. For a guy most times intimacy is sex, but that's not necessarily the case. For women intimacy is intimacy, sex is sex. Sex is an act of intimacy, but it isn't the whole. If anything guys, during the pregnancy period, she'll need you to be intimate in a way that doesn't involve placing her on her back, or adding your weight on top of her, or trying to get yours while she's just trying to get comfortable.

For those of you going crazy due to the lack of sex, there are some things you can do to not let it get into your head too badly...

1. Focus on other things; sex isn't everything!

There are still other things you can be thinking about, planning for, working on... while your sex life is on hold. Remember, sex isn't everything. The problem is you probably had a lot of it the first year you got married and now you're on a steady decline and your body is having withdrawals. You'll be okay. Shift your mind into the other aspects of your life. Maybe this is a good time to exercise more, get in shape for the new baby because sooner or later he/she will be running around the house - I'm a witness! Finish those projects that you started before the pregnancy. Catch up with friends and family. Try and actually get eight hours of sleep. Create a plan for your family. Invent something, build something, or get yourself organized... you have plenty of alternatives. They may not be as favorable, but you can still make do for now.

2. As you help your wife, she may be more inclined to help you.

She may be more willing to have sex with you if you help her with the everyday stuff. For your wife, being pregnant makes everything a little bit more challenging. It's one thing to have extra weight, it's another to have an extra person in your belly that's growing and kicking you and moving around and dependent on you for nourishment. Guys, think about what you would give up if it were you that had the baby inside of you. Anyway, if you use this time to help her with the other children, with the house, with the appointments, with the calls, with the cleaning, with whatever it is... letting her get her sleep... you may experience fewer and fewer gaps between sexual encounters.

3. You've gone long periods without sex before; tell your body it'll be okay.

You haven't had sex every other day all of your life, or even all of your married life. Just tell your body to get over it and it'll be okay. Like I said before, masturbation is not the answer. Pornography is not the answer. The answer is patience. You have a nine month pregnancy, and then another 6-8 weeks afterward to let her body heal... even after that, you can't just jump her bones like a wild animal or you may be back in the same situation for another year. It'll be some time before it is back to sex as normal. Until then, tell your body, it is okay... I can handle it. When your body wants to go into withdrawal mode and you can't sleep or you're consumed with it, take control of yourself and tell yourself... I can do this.

4. Direct that sexual energy into new ways of intimacy towards your wife. Just because you're not having sex doesn't mean you can't be around her. She still needs you there.

This is where you can put your creativity to work. Find ways to be close to her without being naked. She needs you to be close to her more now than ever. She's changing all over and I'd imagine it's a daunting thing to have everything about you change at the same time. Having you there brings a sense of stability and calmness. Don't take advantage of that by getting your sexual urges appeased. Talk to her, read with her, watch a movie with her, go out together, laugh about stuff, play games... there are many ways to be intimate without being physical.

If after all of this you still find yourself like an addict, needing a hit and not able to function... you might not have done the tips correctly. You have to have control over your own body, your own thoughts, your own desires, and your own urges. They don't control you, you control them! Be a man! Help your wife make these next few months the best she's ever had through your sacrifice and willingness to love her like you said you would... even if that means your desires get put on hold for a bit of time.