How to Handle Manipulators: Learn to Say No

We often find ourselves pressured into doing something we otherwise would not consider doing. We find it hard to say no even when we know saying yes will inconvenience us considerably. We want people to like us, we want to belong. Sometimes we get swayed by the promise of money, power or love, other times we get bullied into doing things we regret afterwards. Don't let it happen to you, consider what is best for you, make your own decisions, be your own master.

Before making any decision consider the situation carefully. What exactly is being asked of you? Who will benefit from the action? Who will be hurt by the action? What are the possible consequences? Is it something doing which will make you or loved ones happy? Giving joy and happiness to yourself and others should be the main motivator. You can't possibly give joy to others if you are miserable yourself. What is best for you in the long run must come first, then we will consider what might be best for others. This is the natural order of things, since if you are impaired it becomes increasingly harder to please others.

Does helping others give you pleasure? If not, you are not ready for the altruistic gestures, don't push yourself, you will only make yourself and others miserable. There is time for everything. Rushing into things may not be the best approach.

Do what is beneficial for you and gives you joy, do not be seduced by money or other devices into doing something you are not enjoying. If you are made to feel guilty about not doing something, or doing something, remember, you are being manipulated and taken for a ride. Distance yourself from such situations. People's memory of good deeds is short lived, and people do tend to be ungrateful. People who really love you will set you free to do whatever you want and always love you for who you are.