How to Handle Marriage Pressure After a Younger Sibling's Wedding Announcement

Your younger sibling and his/her fiance have announced their engagement to your family, friends, and everyone else in your community. While it may not bother you that your younger sister or brother is going to say the vows (or already has) before you, we still live in a society that believes that marriage ceremonies should be performed in birth order. Having your younger sibling marry before you can mean being bombarded with attacks on your personal life. Have no fear. While you may not be able to put a stop to the intrusive inquiries altogether, you can keep yourself from running to Las Vegas with the next cute stranger who walks by in a desperate attempt to salvage your sanity. Keep the following tips in mind as you learn how to handle marriage pressure after a younger sibling's wedding announcement.

Tip #1: Remind others that marriage is about readiness, not year of birth. While it might be untraditional to marry after your younger sister or brother, tradition is hardly a valid reason to suddenly form a new timeline for your life. Whether staunchly conservative and traditional or not, most family members and friends piling on the pressure won't be able to find a good reason to deny that sensible fact.

Tip #2: Keep in mind that your younger sibling's marriage is not a reflection on your ability to maintain a relationship. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Try to remember that when Aunt Marjorie is grilling you about your inability to find love and perfect bliss.

While it's unfortunate, a marriage ceremony is by no means a guarantee of a good, permanent relationship anymore.

Tip #3: Revel in the nontraditional. What's so bad about standing apart and doing something different? Rather than gazing into bridal shop windows or at engagement ring ads when your younger sibling makes a wedding announcement, be proud of having abstained from making marriage decisions in the past that might not have been right for you.

Tip #4: Ease the pressure on your boyfriend or girlfriend to take the matrimonial leap. This may sound like a tip for your boyfriend/girlfriend's benefit, but it's really for the sake of preserving your relationship. Many older siblings make the mistake of not only forgetting to reassure their boyfriends/girlfriends that they aren't going to push for marriage after a younger sibling's engagement announcement, but they also vent their marriage pressure onto them. While it might not be intentional, constantly easing your own tension by mentioning the unfair criticism of family members wanting you to marry might pressure your boyfriend/girlfriend into finally wanting to do anything they must to calm you down...including marrying you. If that doesn't happen, they may leave simply over fear that you're trying to tell them something that they're not ready for, no matter how much you reassure them. It's a lose-lose situation for you both, so try to ride it out on your own or by venting only to friends.

Tip #5: Respond to marriage plan questions without putting yourself down, and without making your younger sister or brother doubt their choice. Older siblings often feel so defensive after a younger sibling gets engaged or married that they forget not to downplay the idea of marriage in front of the young bride or groom to be. Keep your relationship with family in tact by defending yourself without degrading your younger sibling's choice to get married.

Tip #6: Remember that it's your younger sister or brother's big moment, not yours. Again, don't get so caught up in defending your single status to friends and family after your younger sibling's wedding announcement that you make the event about you. While it's not fair to be attacked over your younger sibling marrying first, try to think about the fact that you are happy for him/her and want them to be nothing but happy during this time. With your own feelings on the backburner, you won't be able to help but to handle marriage pressure with greater ease from that point on. Be gracious, be firm and confident in your choices, and let it go.