How to Handle a Narcissist

In our lives, we are taught early to find that certain somebody to share our life with. To grow with them and to become as one. This is usually started out when you decided with someone else that you two want to date each other, and with that, the art of trying to live hand-to-hand starts out.

What a lot of people tend to find out later on in their life is that the person that they have picked isn't the person that they turned out to be. In any case, one of the worse-case scenarios is when you find that person to put their livelihood before your own.

This is considered a narcissistic person. A narcissistic person is also one who feels that their livelihood and ideas reign superior over others. They will insist on living in a lifestyle that will only accommodate their own wishes, whether they affect others in a negative way or basically run over other people's lives. They will put themselves first before all and assume that their thoughts as well as their ideas are right, while everyone else is wrong. Narcissists will act upon their own ideas and will try to change the outcome to accommodate them, whether it affects their friends, family, or spouse. They are exploiters and will not empathize with you or anyone else.

When you are dealt with putting up with someone's narcissistic ways, there are some things you need to consider first:

1. They are trying to come out ahead, or ahead of you. Most narcissists are not trying to pass you up, but merely trying to better themselves only. Of course, they are going about it the wrong way, their self-digested art of keeping ahead of the pack will be misjudged by their ability to forget about you, whether you are a stranger or family.

2. They will make decisions without your input, sometimes even going behind your back to set the outcome for their best interests.

3. Their decision is not in your best interests at all. Nothing they put into action will accommodate you or help you out in the least bit.

If someone who you know fits into one of these categories, they definitely need help, but this is not necessarily a danger to the relationship. The person who tries to put themselves before you has already determined one of two things:

1. You can't or won't do this for them.

2. Their selfish needs are going to go under the radar until you find out. Most narcissists will not tell you what they have done until it's too late. They will usually plan on making their lives easier, whether it makes your life harder because of their decision. This is also how you can determine that they knew you wouldn't agree in the first place.

Under the first rule of thumb, often the other party feels that you can't provide, enabling them to take a stand against not only your wishes, but your pride. They will put aside any and all decisions that you made. This type of thinking towards you needs to be addressed in a rapid fashion, stopping any and all future disrespects. If they feel like you can't acquire what they need, maybe they should look at it from a different point of view. For example, say that the person involved was a female. She decides that the money you have been setting aside for a rainy day needs to be spent on her car because her air conditioner breaks down. You want to spend a little money on fixing the air conditioner. Both parties agree that something needs to be done, yet before anything is settled out; she went and bought the family car in her name only. Your ideas have been washed away and she took action to better her. This is a narcissistic maneuver and it's never good in any relationship.

Another example would be say, for example, you and your narcissistic partner had a child. You both work during the week and have responsibilities. Your child gets sick and has to be taken care of, or worse, has to go to the hospital. A normal parent would take the time to take care of this situation. A narcissistic person would not take the time out of work to take care of the child, sometimes trying to leave the responsibility towards the non-narcissistic party. While the other half is taking care of the child, the narcissistic one relies more on themselves than their own child.

Narcissism has many levels, but for the most part, anyone who relishes on their own behalf, no matter how strong they will like to suit themselves, is dangerous to the rest of the family. One's best bet is to take care of this problem head-on. Here are a few helpful hints to fix a person who is narcissistic:

1. Explain to them that their lives are not the only life at stake when they make a decision.

2. Set down rules about their decision making.

3. Punishment of your wishes are not met for them to stop

#1a. Explaining to them is harder than you expect, but after some considerable thought and communication, you need to show them that not only is their idea just one; It's also one everybody involved has to go by.

#2a. Jotting down a list of simple rules will stop your other from going on with the plan. Make it clear that as long as they do things without your consent, it will also involve retribution.

#3a. Punishment of some sort is at stake here. For example; if your other half buys the car without your knowledge, let them also consider the fact that now they need to put back all the money they spent without the help from you. Narcissists are best taught about their ways by first running them into a brick wall, then making them erect it back without help.

To have a spouse that is a narcissist is hard, but with communication, you both might get through with this self-absorbing disease. The best recommendation on a severe basis is definitely a psychiatrist or psychologist. A narcissistic person needs to see what they are doing from a professional level. Letting their family and friends in on their habits might help, but it might also hurt in the long run. A narcissistic person already knows what they have, they just don't want to change unless you can prove it's affecting all involved. Telling their loved ones will only make them hide their decision the next time, and this might be the factor that will ruin any relationship.
Remember, narcissism is based on a mental condition and it should be looked into on a medical basis, as well as a caring one.