How to Handle Passive Aggressive Behavior

The best way to handle passive aggressive behavior when you know it is in front of you is to deal with the person directly on a very steady basis. The reason that people use passive aggressive moves in relationships is that instead of having the skills to deal with others directly they have honed skills of hiding out and avoiding conflict instead. Therefore the person tends to behave very sneaky and underhanded instead of just dealing with issues upfront. They will go to great lengths to try and either get back at someone or to hide their true motives and desires because that is their biggest fear is to be "found out and confronted" about some issue or behavior, etc.

That is what makes this behavior so infuriating is that it doesn't just come up and grab your attention right away like someone punching you in the nose after you stepped on their foot. The relationship usually has to have some history before you start figuring out something just seems amiss whenever there is conflict or disagreement. But the other person cannot deal with the situation directly so you are left with some very odd clues to decipher or you just get this gut feeling that they are not being straight with you and it keeps coming up again and again, you will start to see a pattern. Also they usually blame everything on someone else and that could be you.

One mistake to avoid is to try too hard to either make sense of the behavior or to try and stay ahead of its path. The reason that is a mistake is because if the person you are dealing with has been passive aggressive in the past they are probably way better than you at being insidious and creating a lot of smoke screens or drama that will just waste all of your energy. You will be back to square one in no time and confused while the other person will feel that they got away with something or put something over on you once again.

Dealing with this issue in relationships is very difficult and sometimes impossible as nailing Jello to a wall. Make sure you keep your sanity by telling yourself that fact and realize that the person who keeps this up has the problem and it is not your issue to address. They need help, they need to learn how to face life and you cannot do that for them. You can help them best by giving them moral support and kindness while they are working out their issues and learning how to communicate better.