How to Be Happy

There are days when I wonder how some people can make it through the day smiling. I have discovered that being happy is a state of mind. You must make a conscious effort to find joy. You do not have to be a so-called morning person to find something happy about each day. Each person deserves to be able to wake up in their own way, to open their minds to the world ahead, and to prepare themselves mentally for what is to come.

Being happy is something that enhances your life rather than something that you must do to get through life. No one absolutely has to be happy. By the same token, being happy is not something that must occur every minute of every day of your life. Sometimes you must purge yourself of the unhappy feelings, which means accepting that it is okay to feel a certain way for a certain period of time. Knowing that may make it easier to accept yourself as well as the happiness you so much deserve in your life. Everyone deserves to feel happy, but everyone also has a right to work through any negative feelings to be able to get to that point of joy. Negative feelings are not wrong. They are just feelings we need to learn to handle in a positive way.

So many times a parent will squash a child's right to feel when disciplining that child. To make your child feel like it is wrong to be angry or sad or sick is unhealthy and that child will later become a confused adult. I have many times heard someone say to a child, "Stop that crying. Don't get mad. What is your problem?" If you can not bear to see your child working through his or her emotion, at least give them the respect of allowing privacy and time for their moments. Teaching them the right ways to express these emotions will help them learn to be responsible and balanced.

A person who feels true happiness will find no need to prey upon someone else's misery to be happy. Although it can be gratifying to see someone else "get what they deserve", it is detrimental to the balance of your well-being to make this your sole contributor to happiness. Many people mistakenly assume that it is rewarding to enjoy revenge or bitterness. It actually creates a negative effect.

There are many people who walk around in a rut, determined that there is no way possible to find happiness. Indeed, it is possible that medication can be the only way to ensure their return to any semblance of happiness. Medical reasons are not to be overlooked when determining whether or not you can be happy again. Chemical imbalances can take the control of our own happiness out of our hands. Unfortunately, it is easy sometimes to use medical reasons as an excuse or a front as to why you are not happy.

You must learn to take responsibility for your happiness. No one can "make" you feel unhappy. It is a personal choice to be that way. This may seem harsh when faced with things like death or terminal illness, divorce, bullies, and so on. Being in a negative state of mind or emotion is easy, but finding your way back to joy can be a struggle. You must ask yourself what is holding you back, what you can do about it, and why you must wait to take action.

The first step to finding happiness is to admit that you have lost it. Maybe that sounds silly, but acknowledgement is the first step to any recovery. The second step is to make a list of things you find it within your power to change. You may surprise yourself. If at first you think you can not do something, ask yourself why not. The third step is to take small steps. Each step will add up to more joy as you find that you are able to accomplish more with each step forward. Any failures should be taken in stride. Learn to work your way up the ladder as you gain mental and emotional strength and control. Any setbacks should be viewed as just that....a minor setback that is temporary. Finally, reward yourself. You can work your way up to bigger rewards as you reach bigger goals. For each small accomplishment, allow yourself a small reward.

Above all, maintain your determination. Perserverance is the key to accomplishing goals.