How to Be Happy?

When my friend confided in me about her never ending unpleasantness in life, I thought I am much better off than her. She had a traumatic childhood, a struggling adolescence, a series of bad relationships and a devastating marriage. Perceptibly, this had left her dismayed. I did not know what to say, was just groping for the right consolation. Is there really any substantial way to be happy? I kept thinking.

I locked the door, pillowed myself on my hand and kept pondering over my past. A series of uptight episodes were animated in front of my eyes. It gave a very gross sensation. Surprisingly, I did survive it all! It was difficult and a long, demoralizing wait before I actually came out of it. Thinking of it made me miserable once again. I opened the lock and switched on the music in an unusually high volume and started yelling.

I am happy. I am happy. I am happy.

Does yelling help? How can it shove off the untoward pains and exhausting responsibilities in life? Does mere utterance of these 3 words relieve us of our drudgery?

Yes, it does. I feel, happiness is not a destination it's a journey. We have to feel it, enjoy it and live it and there's no better time than now. All through our lives we are busy preparing to live, to be happy thus. We prepare to ensure a better childhood for our kids, then we are busy to ensure them with a secure profession, then come their marriages, family, settlement, then the retirement and then we think we might be able to live life the way we want to and eventually we be happy. But what's there to wait for! Why not now? What we fail to understand is that these hurdles are but life and living it wisely will make us happy.

It's living the little dash (-) between the birth and death year which matters the most. Cars, house, comfort, money, material would be forgotten. We would not be remembered by how much money we had, how much we spent or how lavishly we lived. Rather, how we have lived our lives and who we have been would make others remember us fondly.

I would like to share with you a few things which have helped me to be cheerful in trying times. I am sure you will find it useful as well.

Laugh, smile, chuckle, giggle even cackle as much as you can. Do not hold back. Remember your smile is contagious and your happy face might cure someone of his indisposed mind.

Follow your heart. Once in a while indulge in pampering yourself with a good pedicure, manicure or a foot massage. Eat chocolates, hot dogs, junkies and all alluring stuffs that you are not supposed to have.

Appreciate, thank and praise more often. Express yourself long and aloud. Say the ones you love that how much you care. Say someone that he/she is beautiful. This gives instant happiness. I believe happiness is not as much as in us as in seeing it on others.

Do not carry your baggage from office to home. Try and leave the hangover at office and come back home a fresh person altogether. It's hard, I know, but try doing thus and you will feel the difference.

Devote more time to people who matter. Spend quality time with your family, with friend with parents, kids. Eliminate people with whom you do not gel with and who do not exude a nice , happy feeling.

Revive good old memories. Once in a week make sure to talk to someone who had once been very close to you. Like old friends, teacher, relatives with whom you hardly get time to talk to but still have the inclination.

Let go, forgive, forget, move on. This is very helpful. Do not be perturbed by what others have to think about you. When someone says that you are a bad person it doesn't really make you bad, isn't it? You must not be slaves to others thoughts. People have their choices and priorities and you have yours. So, ignore and just let go.

Expect less from others. A lot of unhappiness occurs when we do not get in return what we expect. When you buy a gift for someone, make sure you do it just out of the love and not presuming the return. So, do something for someone only when your heart wants to and not out of compulsion. Initially it would be difficult but gradually people will love you for that.

Increase your self esteem. No one is perfect; learn to live with your physical shortcomings, which you cannot change. Instead of nagging over a crooked nose try to live with it. Instead highlight how beautiful your eyes are! Trust me, you will feel better.

Motivate yourself. Self motivation is the best possible thing to happen. Work harder, set a target and think positive. Buy yourself a good pen or a dress or anything that matters whenever you achieve your goal. This will act as a great incentive, I am sure.

Have your values right. Do not mix up your sense of values. Do not succumb to anything material at the cost of your values. Remember, we might have the ability to reach to the top but our character makes us stay there.

Take a break, kill the monotony. Go for a pleasure trip or unplanned adventure - it surely helps. Just freak out, yell, sing, dance, let out your emotions once in a while. Having said that, make sure to close the door when you feel the need to burst free. *laughs*

Capitalize on little little things in life. Play with the children, have chocolate, flirt with friends, make faces, be a child. This will add up to your emotional bank account.

Stay fit, keep healthy, be conscious. Health should be the no. 1 priority in life. An unhealthy man is essentially not happy. 'Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.'

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Thank you.