How Hard Do You Find it to Say You're Sorry?

Personal differences bring sorrow, emotional pain and bitterness. And someone carries the blame. But in any situation it usually takes two to tango. No-one will apologize because it's a sign of weakness. It's humiliating. But that's where we make the mistake.

Pride is one of the greatest stumbling blocks in our personalities that prevent us from reaching out and making that special effort to say "Hey, I'm sorry. I was wrong ..." Pride deludes people. One imperfect, fallible and self-conceited person stands up and believes him- or herself to be better than the other imperfect, fallible and self-conceited person. Wow! What makes one person more superior than the next? Who gives one person authority to judge the next?

When we stand and look at a colony of ants, can we honestly distinguish one from another by status, religion, competency, or any perfection or defection?

I think the greatest flaw in society today is the inability to love ourselves less whilst loving others a little more. People are becoming more and more comfortable with their egocentric thoughts. They incline themselves only toward their own interests. Where are all the sincere and genuine people? Where are those who are less judgmental? Where are the humble and peaceful ones?

How loud is the silence of loneliness? By pushing a person out of our lives we tend to lean toward a pattern of shunning instead of uniting. Putting humility ahead of pride and saying "I'm sorry" without having to dig up all the ugliness that led to the breach is the only way we can move forward.

People are people. The milieu and lifestyle in which people are raised and the values instilled in them, make them think and act differently to the way we do. Being ignorant of whom and what they are makes it so much easier to bear the grudge.

There are two steps to consider:

1. Place yourself in their shoes. Try to understand why they think and feel the way they do.

2. Consider being on the wrong side of the stick. Wouldn't you appreciate being forgiven?

Sometimes it may seem justified to refuse forgiveness. But the thing about nursing a grudge only brings a lot of stress and unhappiness. It's a burden we carry with us for as long as we are unwilling to forgive.

No-one in life owes us anything. We are not here to be served. We are not important because of status, religion, wealth, nationality or any other reason. We are all people with different circumstances and different burdens to bear, whether it is cancer, poverty, loneliness, or any other weight of suffering with which we have to contend. And that's why we shouldn't allow hate to be an added burden in our lives.

We look at the big things in life ... and the little things. One doesn't outweigh the other. It's what we make of these things that bring harmony and joy into our lives. And if we truly want to be happy, we need to place ourselves second - not first - and work at making others happy. After all, the 'me-myself-I' syndrome takes all the glory out of any relationship.

It takes time and a lot of effort. But forgive sincerely. It will make your life a lot smoother.