How Having a Baby Changed My Life

Everyone knows that having a baby is a life-altering experience. Things that were once important seem meaningless, hours of free time soon shrink into seconds, and you find yourself having conversations about subject that you never thought you would. It is as if you have been invited into a secret world full of wonder and shame, embarrassment and joy, and a thousand little quirks that only another parent can understand. For better or for worse it is a change that can not be undone.

Before I found myself pregnant I never questioned anything. I may not have agreed with or even liked the way things were, but I assumed that things were the way they should be. Like most Americans I followed the norm and did what everyone else had done because I assumed that the reasons why were good enough. I was just another fast food eating, TV watching, retail buying consumer. So when I found out that I was expecting I naturally went with what was expected. I found a doctor, planned to birth in a hospital with medical pain relief, wondered about the cost of formula and disposable diapers, and looked at cribs and strollers and devices to contain my baby so that I could go on with my life without much hindrance.

But something did not feel right, and that feel grew stronger with each passing week. After just one visit I dropped my doctor and began rethinking my plans for the future. Suddenly doing what every one else was doing just because it was what every one else did no longer seemed to make sense. I felt fiercely protective of the tiny life growing inside of me and wanted to protect it against all odds. The world no longer looked the same as it had before my pregnancy, now I could see dangers and fears that never existed before. I could not just hand over my child to someone else and expect them to make all the decisions as I had done before with my own life, I had to understand why things were done the way they were and make the best possible choice I could.

I began reading books on childbirth, every book I could find at the local library. Most seemed to recycle the same tired lines about the dangers and the pain associated with labor and birth. When I came across Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf, however, I saw something new. The realization that pregnancy and birth were not a medical condition to be cured, but a natural process to be enjoyed made perfect sense to me. A week later I had made an appointment with a local midwife, something I had never even heard of before then, and was excited about the new path I was on.

With knowledge my old plans fell by the wayside and new ideas began forming. Where once I joked that I would request pain relief the moment I walked into the hospital I was instead preparing for a drug free birth in a birthing center not attached to any hospital. Formula and bottles were tossed out as I understood the normal, natural way to feed my baby. Things that no one else had ever spoken to me about were suddenly laid in front of me and made perfect sense. When I held my newborn son in my arms after 16 hours of drug free labor and looked at his perfect face staring back up at me I was born a new person as well.

Having a baby changed me more than just how I thought about childbirth. That desire and need to understand the world around me in order to protect my baby spread out into every level of my life. I could no longer do any of the things that I once did, things that more people take as the norm for American living. I could not take things on faith that the reasons why were good enough. Each time I came across something important in my life I took time to research it and find out as much as I could, then I changed to adapt to the new information.

My life now is far from where it was just four years ago. I quit my job to stay home and be with my children, I gave up disposable diapers for cloth, I tossed the stroller in the garage and carried my baby n my arms, and I stopped gave up eating preprocessed prepackaged foods for healthier fresh foods. I found myself caring about the environment deeply and looked towards composting, gardening, recycling, and environmental designs. Politics began to matter more than I had ever thought before and I found myself trying to make sense of laws that would affect my children and someday their children. My hopes, my fears, my dreams, my wishes are changed with the coming of my son. I changed, and I am thankful for the person I have become.