How to Heal from Divorce

Often times we make the mistake in our relationships of thinking that in order to be whole you must be with someone (a partner) in order to be complete. This is not true. In order to build solid relationships, you must first be whole (an entire person spiritually).

When you first came into this world, you came as one person. You were not born with your partner/spouse. So it is important to know yourself and have a close and intimate relationship with God.

There are four types of relationships and they are: singleness, marriage, separation, and divorce. The first type of relationship is singleness. To be single means to be whole and to be one (alone). Being single does not mean that you are alone spiritually. You may feel alone especially after ending a marriage or when a dating relationship comes to an end; but you are indeed not alone.

Singleness

When you are single, you have a perfect opportunity to explore your soul. You now have a chance to discover you again, this is why it is so imperative not to rebound and date other people right after a break up. You have to take some time out to clear your mind, body, and spirit. You must take a moment to heal over any spiritual hurt. Rebounding only opens you up to make similar or worse decisions in your love life. It is critical to take the time and just breathe and learn you again. You need to embrace your new life status of being single but not alone for you are building your intimate relationship with God. This is your time to heal. According to Evangelist Miles Munroe, "Being unmarried is not a curse, and singleness is the first blessing of man. A person in a state of being single is a joy to the Lord. When God can deal with a person who is whole and unique, he can get more done."

Marriage

The second type of relationship is marriage. Marriage is when two whole persons make a covenant to exchange vows, committing their lives to remain together until death. According to The Revealing Word, "Marriage, spiritual-Spiritually, marriage represents the union of two dominant states of consciousness. When we open the door of the mind by consciously affirming the presence and power of the divine I AM in our midst, there is a marriage or union of the higher forces in being with the lower and we find that we are quickened in every part; the life of the I AM has been poured out for us."

Marriage can be so beautiful when you are with the right person and when you are ready. Marriage means togetherness. You and your partner must be able to work together and be in agreement. If there is constant friction between the two of you then it is going to be difficult to make your marriage work. One key element that is lacking in marriages today is God. With out God there is no marriage. Both individuals must be whole in the light of God. They must be complete and know who they are before entering into a marriage. Marriage should not be based on money and good looks. You must ask yourself these questions, if the money is gone will you all be there for each other? Or when my good looks begin to fade with age or poor health, will my spouse be there for me? Marriage must be beyond the superficial. A good solid marriage is not based on the physical it is based on the spiritual.

Separation

Separation is another phase that can occur within a relationship. This is the point when the relationship is in limbo. There is still a question mark as to weather or not the marriage has come to a complete end. In order to get complete closure to a marriage, you must overcome the separation phrase of the relationship. Some people don't divorce because of the expenses in getting an attorney but if you can get alone ok with your spouse and come to an agreement, mediation may be a good alternative to settling the divorce more affordably. Or the separation can help the couple to realize that they want to be together. Maybe being away from each other gives the couple a chance to see how much they miss and love each other.

Going through a divorce can be quite difficult but you can overcome it. There are numerous reasons why marriage comes to an end such as death, infidelity, adultery, abuse, differences, or simply just drifting apart. But what ever the reason it may be it is still important to heal.

Divorce

Healing from a divorce is a process. When I divorced my ex-husband in 2003, I had to go through a period of self discovery. You have to do some soul searching and discover who you are. This period of being alone is an opportunity to heal and grow because it is a chance to have a closer relationship with God.

The steps to coping with divorce are number one to clear your mind. Number two is Prayer and meditation. Step three is to remove all things that remind you of your ex. Next is to write down your feelings in a journal. Number five is to forgive your ex. Number six is to learn to release and let God in into your life. And last but not least is to learn from your divorce and try to make better choices.

There are five steps you can take to Healing after Divorce. The first step is to come to the realization that the marriage is over. Number two is to realize it is not the end of the world. The next step is to make sure your children are coping well with the divorce. Number four is to seek professional counseling. Number five is to discover self thorough. Next is to incorporate prayer and mediation into your life. And land is to get more involved with your passion and life purpose.

Moving On (Dating after Divorce)

Identifying lust is very important because if prevents you from dating the wrong people right broken relationship. There are four steps to identifying lust. Number one is to identify the thought of lust (fear of being alone). Number two is to pray and ask God to get rid of any lustful thoughts in your mind. Next is to don't settle for just any man that comes your way. And last is to follow your intuition. If spirit is telling you that the man is wrong for you, then listen. Your first instinct about a person is majority of the time the correct one.

Jennifer is an example of lust and her lust was to be in the comfort of a man's embrace. She did not realize that when she lusted in having a man in her life for fear of being alone that she was opening her self up to danger.

Identifying lust is critical in avoiding the many set backs of just settling for any and everything. Instead of settling why not see what you can do to be a better you. The right person will come in God's time, if you be more patient.

For example, if Jennifer knew that she was lusting and that she did not need a man for fulfillment and happiness, she would learn that she needs God in order to be hold, not a man. A man can disappoint you but with God he will always be there for you through thick and thin. Waiting and not settling and only accepting the man that God sends your way, is a preventive measure that many women can take in the future to keep from making the same mistakes and getting hurt.

Take Care of Yourself

When you are single and divorce, it does not mean that it is the end of the world. You must take care of yourself by doing the following things: Number one is to eat a healthy diet .You must watch the types of foods that you put into your body. Your body is your vessel that keeps you here on earth and that is why it is very important to take care of yourself.

Another thing you can to is to try to avoid over eating. When I went through my divorce, I became an over eater because food was my comfort. Food is not your solution to feeling better. You must seek spiritual counseling and healing to overcome your dilemma.

Including daily exercise in your daily routine release endorphins which make you feel better and more positive.

Avoid Illegal Drugs and Alcohol is another way to take care yourself. Blocking your feelings won't make them go away and will only prolong suffering. Seek professional and spiritual counseling to help you get your life on track

A great way to take care of yourself is to do something special for you for a change. And most of all embrace your new single status and see it as an opportunity to do more soul searching.