How to Heat Up Your Sex Life

While I'm by no means a certified Sexpert, I've learned a few things over the course of my relationships that both men and women can use to help enhance their sex life. I'm not talking about candlelit dinners or reading love poems, that's romance. If you want to be romantic go read Cosmopolitan. I'm talking about making hot monkey love here. And, I'm offering realistic advice for couples on how to keep things exciting when you've fallen into a sexual slump.

Don't be afraid to be a tease.
There's nothing wrong with ogling your S.O. when they're coming out of the shower...or vice versa. If you don't have children or other people living with you, it's a nice to walk around naked now and then. It's like a sneak preview before the feature film. If you're too self-conscious to walk around naked, then try lounging around the house in your underwear or a nightgown until you get more comfortable with your partner seeing you half-undressed. You'd be surprised at how quickly viewing each other in various states of nudity will put naughty thoughts in your mind even if you don't feel like you're "in the mood." Obviously you're sexually attracted to each other, or you wouldn't be together in the first place, so don't be shy about flaunting it a bit and giving your partner a cheap thrill. You'll likely find that once you get over your modesty, it will turn you on as well.

Porn is your friend.
Adult DVDs and videotapes aren't just for lonely, frustrated men who need hand relief. Whether video or Internet, adult entertainment also an inspiring tool for couples as well. There's a reason why they market them as safe sex supplements. Cuddling up together and watching an x-rated movie is a great way to get your hormones raging and fill your mind with lusty thoughts. Besides being a big turn-on, they will give you both new ideas for different positions and techniques. Don't be afraid to emulate what the actors are doing on-screen. They ARE sex professionals after all. Which, brings me to my next point...

Variety is the spice of "Oh My God, That Was Fantastic!"
Nobody wants to fall into the rut of missionary-style sex once every Saturday night whether you want it or not. Don't let yourself fall into a routine of making love the same way all the time. Nobody likes predictability. It's less exciting for anyone if they know all the details of the big finish before they get there. Consider your partner's feelings obviously, but don't be afraid to suggest different ways of making love. Talk to your partner and share some of your fantasies with them, but be open to hearing their fantasies as well. You may find there are things you've both been curious about but too timid to discuss. Everything can get boring after a while, mix-it-up a bit by doing something your lover likes but doesn't usually expect from you. Likewise, ask him-or-her to do s
omething you enjoy but normally wouldn't ask for. Sex will be much more satisfying for both of you once you get over any nervousness about discussing your intimate desires.

Foreplay doesn't just happen in the bedroom.
Personally speaking, my partner and I find it very erotic to "play around" together in other rooms of the house without actually achieving orgasm. Speaking from a man's standpoint, and a some women as well, it's very difficult to lay in bed for hours touching each other without getting so worked up you rush finish immediately. Even worse, it sometimes will cause you to finish prematurely. While quick sex can be fun and spontaneous, it's also nice to let the excitement build slowly over a long period of time before going all the way. For couples, you can engage in deep kissing, heavy petting, or even oral activities - but you have to stop short of reaching an orgasm. In terms of masturbation, this is called "edging." It's where you work yourself up almost to the point of climax, take a good long break, and than work yourself up again until...you're...almost...ready...to...STOP! Repeat this pattern until you're nearly out of your mind. By the time you do finally have an orgasm, it will leave you a hundred times more breathless than usual. It's guaranteed to work every time.

Quickies aren't just for motel rooms.
Contrary to what I said in the last paragraph, sometimes quick, passionate sex - especially if it's a little kinky like in the middle of the kitchen - really works too. Like I said, it's all about variety and changing your routine. Sex doesn't always have to done in the bedroom with the lights off to be exciting and romantic. Sometimes you really have the need, but not the time, to release some pent-up sexual energy. In those cases I recommend indulging yourselves in a quick romp anywhere in your home that you feel like it. You don't even have to totally get undressed. In fact, sometimes it's more fun if you don't.

Sex, it isn't just for bedtime anymore!
My last tip may seem a bit repetitive, but don't just confine your sex life to bedtime. Sometimes sex in the morning is great, sometimes a Saturday nooner is the way to go, or maybe you just happen to wake up in the middle of the night with the urge to merge. In any case, don't think that sex has to be the last thing you do before going to sleep. A lot of times, especially on weeknights, by time it reaches bedtime you're too tired for a command performance. There is no right or wrong time for sex. Do it when you're both in mood, not just when it fits your daily routine.

I can't guarantee that every tip here will work for every couple. All people are different and all couples have different levels of comfort with sex in general. But, try to think outside the box a little and see what you come up with. Remember the basics of honesty, mutual communication, and being comfortable together. Once you find mutually agreeable ways to spice things up, more often than not, your hot new sex life will seriously improve your relationship. As we all know, a happy relationship always helps make the other aspects of your life much easier to deal with.