How to Help a Child Actor Deal with Rejection

The entertainment industry is harsh. People can be extremely cruel and demeaning. It causes several people to develop complexes. They never think they're good enough. One person says you're too thin, the next says you're too fat. Too pretty for one role, not pretty enough for another. It never ends. There's a lot of negativity and constant criticism. So, how can you help a child deal understand this crazy business and learn to deal with rejection?

First of all, don't treat a missed job as a loss. My mother taught me from the beginning that the audition was the job. She said that auditioning was my job, that it was every actor's job. Then if I got a callback she told me it was just another day of work. A repeat. And if I was lucky enough to get the job she said that was the play day. The actual shoot was the fun day where we would go and I'd have someone do my hair and make-up and put me in fun clothes. A play day where they gave me money, basically.

Looking back on this I feel lucky she taught me to look at auditions in such a way. That was the job. Period. Not only was it a positive way of thinking because it helped with my focus but it also aided me in dealing with the inevitable rejection. There's nothing you can do about it. You will not get every job you audition for. That's just how it is. In reality you're lucky if you ever get a job because the competition is so fierce. There are so many people out there who want the same thing. Casting directors receive thousands of pictures for each role they cast. You're lucky if you even get called in for an audition. Thus the audition is the job. Teaching this is the best thing you can do to help anyone with rejection, especially a child.

Another thing you can do is try to explain to them that whether or not they get a role often has nothing to do with what they say or do, it's about how they look and they are just right the way they are. Someday, something will come along that they are perfect for. But instead of even having to give them the speech about their innate perfection you could just make each audition an experience. Do something fun each time before or after the audition. Visit a museum, got to dinner, check out a new bookstore. You can even make up a game you play in the car when you're on your way to an audition that you only play in such a circumstance. It's a fun trip then, not a draining experience when they don't get the part.

Also, even if you know, never mention the date by which you'll hear if they get a callback or not. Or the job after a callback. It's agonizing when you have to wait out the days waiting for the phone to ring. Instead let it be a surprise. Remember, the audition was the job, it's over as soon as you leave. So, a callback or booking is jut icing on the cake. It's a bonus. Treat it as such and things will be much more pleasant.

Remember to continue to give your child positive reinforcement. Praise them when they do well. Don't criticize them when they're less than perfect, just suggest they try to go to their next job and do something a little differently. No one is perfect, including your kids. Don't expect perfection out of them or let anyone else expect that from them.