How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New Baby

Adding a baby to your home is stressful enough without having to worry about how your other child or children will react. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can help your child adjust to a new baby that will take some of the stress out of it. Some of the ways you can help your child adjust to a new baby can even start well before you bring the newest addition home.

Help Your Child Adjust to a New Baby By Heading Off Jealousy

One of the most feared behaviors associated when a child adjusts to a new baby is jealousy. It is important to be prepared for your older child to be jealous of the new addition. Jealousy can take the form of misbehaving, becoming more clingy, or throwing the mother of all tantrums. Sometimes the older child will hit and act out to the parents instead of the newborn. Though neither situation is ideal, it's much easier to deal with jealousy when it is aimed toward adults. Maintain your usual disciplinary tactics (timeout, alone time, etc.) but be sensitive to the fact that this is a big change for your little one.

To help your child adjust to a new baby and reduce his jealousy, get him involved in the whole process long before you bring baby home. Allow him to help set up the crib, even if it simply means giving the child a screwdriver and having him stick it in a different screw than you're working on. Take your child to the store and let him pick out a baby doll (yes, even boys can have dolls). When you get home, give him a couple of newborn diapers to put on the baby. This way, your older child will adjust to a new baby by having his own baby to take care of.

Once the new baby arrives home, continue heading off jealousy and helping your child adjust to the new baby by including him in everything possible. Ask him to hand you a diaper, even if it's within your grasp. Ask if he can help you toss dirty laundry in the washer. Have the older child help you unload the dishwasher. If he doesn't want to, don't be upset, but when he does help, praise him enthusiastically. Remind the older child how important he is to you and how much you appreciate his help.

Also, one of the best ways to help your child adjust to a new baby is to allow him to bond with the baby. Though the idea may make you cringe at first, allow your older child to hold his brother or sister. Stand close by, of course, and keep your hands near to ensure the baby's safety. Make sure your child is seated on a couch with plenty of cusions, but allow your child to kiss his sibling, touch her nose, ears, and fingers. Praise him for being such a great big brother. Teach him the correct way to hold his sibling and how to tell you when he's done holding her. Doing these things will allow for your older child to adjust to the new baby easier than if you shield the baby from him.

It is important to note that with each of these tips, if your older child doesn't want to help or doesn't want to hold his sibling, do not force him to. Forcing him will only create more tension and will make adjusting to the new baby more difficult.

Help Older Child Adjust to a New Baby by Spending Quality Time With the Child

Once the baby arrives, your child will be forced to share your attention with what he sees as a squirmy, poopy, crying ball of drool. He is used to having your attention whenever he pleases and it may come as quite a shock to him when that situation changes. While you cannot give him as much attention as you once did, one way to help your older child adjust to a new baby is to devote time for just the two of you. Make popcorn and watch your child's favorite movie while the baby naps. Play games and playdough and anything else that makes your child happy. In the evening, leave the baby with a trusted adult and steal away with your older child for a short time. A trip to the dollar store to pick out crayons and coloring books or even a quick grocery run with only the two of you will mean a lot to your older child and help him adjust to the new baby.

In addition, make sure that others are spending time with your older child as well. Have Daddy make an extra effort to rough-house with your older child immediately when he gets home from work, instead of running straight for the baby and oogling over her. Ask grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other friends if they would mind taking the older child to the park or over for a play date. Simple things like this will make help your child adjust to the new baby in no time.

Help Older Child Adjust to a New Baby by Creating a Routine ASAP

The routine that you had once fallen into with your child will be tossed out the window when you bring home your newborn. Fortunately, both children and newborns crave the predictability of a routine, so you will find yourself molding into a new one fairly quickly. The first few weeks are bound to be confusing, exhausting, and mind-numbing, but after that, attempt to re-establish your routine. Slowly work into your normal routine by first going back to the same bedtime sequence: bath, story, prayers, etc. Then, work backward into a normal dinnertime, naptime, lunchtime, and finally morning routine. For some reason (at least for our house) the morning routine is always the last to be established, especially with wakeup time changing for both the newborn and older child. Remember that your child and baby crave a routine, so re-establishing one will only help your child adjust to the new baby even sooner.

These are just a few of the ways you can help your child adjust to a new baby. There is nothing you can do, say, or give your child that will guarantee everything will go smoothly, but if you keep these tips in mind, it will surely be an easier adjustment. Remember that adding a new baby to your home turns your child's world upside down. The first few months are, quite frankly, going to be pretty cruddy, but before you know it, your older child and his sibling will be best of friends. Believe it or not, you may eventually find yourself wanting another one. Congratulations on your new bundle, and I wish you much calm, peace, and patience as you help your child adjust to a new baby brother or sister.