How to Help Your Child with Aspberger's Syndrome

I knew something wasn't quiet right with my son when he was about 2 years old. I didn't know exactly what, but you know the saying about a mother knowing her child. There wasn't any big changes in him. He liked playing and he smiled a lot but I began noticing how he acted around crowds. He would hum and hold his ears or climb under the table to escape from the noise. I thought maybe he wasn't going to be a people person or that he just didn't like the noise of loud crowds, after all he was only 2. I also began noticing that when I called his name he wouldn't answer. It was like he was in a world of his own and I couldn't seem to draw his attention to me with my voice. I would snap my fingers in front of his face and this would get his attention. He also began making squealing noises and hand flaps. I began wondering if he had hearing problems and thought maybe some of his changes were due to frustrations of not being able to hear. So I decided to consult his pediatrician.

Tyler had constant ear infections so I thought maybe all those ear infections had affected his hearing. He was schedule for a hearing test and past the test with flying colors. Loss of hearing was not his problem. I couldn't think of anything else it could be other than maybe he was just stubborn or maybe he just wasn't ready to pay attention. After all, two-year-olds had the attention span of about 3 minutes. It still worried me that something wasn't right with him and I couldn't shake the feeling or just let it go. I took him back to his pediatrician and discussed with him Tyler's behavior. Tyler's pediatrician listened carefully and then said the words I never imagined he would say in a million years, "I think your son is autistic."

I had heard of autism but it was a fairly new neurological disorder that no one knew that much about. The pediatrician told me that all of the characteristics that Tyler displayed was that of autism. He then told me that I shouldn't be surprised if Tyler never made eye contact with me or showed me affection or said the words I love you. Children with autism have a hard time showing affection.

I left out of the doctors office stunned and confused. When I got home I broke down and cried. No mother wants to hear that there is something wrong with their beautiful baby and it's something that can't be cured. I headed to my computer and began doing research on autism. I read stories of families who were dealing with the same thing as I was and how autism could range from mild to severe. I just could not deal with the fact of having a child and him not be able to look me in the eyes or show me affection or say those words every mom loves to hear, I love you.

I began working with Tyler right away. If I couldn't get his attention by calling his name I continued to snap my fingers right in front of his face. This would immediately get his attention. He would look at me for a few seconds and turn his head. I would get down on my knees in front of him and gently put my fingers on his chin and turn his face towards me and make him look me in the eyes. I would constantly tell him to look at me and reward him when he would meet my gaze. He didn't like to be touched but I would grab him and hold him and just hug him and tell him how much I loved him. He wouldn't do it back but I didn't give up. One day my persistence paid off. I grabbed him up, hugged him, and said I love you Tyler. He put his arms around me and squeezed a second and although it was brief I knew that constantly working with him was paying off. I never gave up.

Tyler was finally 4-years-old and had just started Pre-K when he was officially diagnosed with a mild form of autism called Aspbergers Syndrome. It is important for parents to begin working with their child at a young age. I believe that some children with a mild form of autism can overcome some of their symptoms. When he wanted to hide from crowds under a table I didn't let him. It's important that children with autism be put into social environments or they will never learn to handle themselves in a social setting. Don't give up on your child. Show them love and affection daily even when they want to fight against it. I also began taking Tyler to a child psychologist who dealt with autistic children. The psychologist worked with Tyler one on one to get him to open up more. You have to be an advocate for your child because no one else will.

Today Tyler is 12 going on 13 in about six months. He is a bright, caring and loving little boy who has come a long way from that 2-year-old who was first diagnosed with autism. He is an A, B student in the 6th grade and I am so very proud of him. I honestly believe it's due to me researching and constantly working with him over the years to help him overcome some of his autistic traits. He is capable of showing affection and holding conversations while looking you in the eyes and best of all I hear those words every day that a mother loves hearing, I love you mom.