How to Help Your Child Cope with Death
It's important that you don't ignore the death. Pretending that the death didn't happen does nothing to help your child heal. Many parents think they may shelter their child from the pain by "not bringing it up" or discussing it. More often than not, this is not the answer. Instead, talk to your child. Ask what he or she is thinking, how he or she is feeling. Your child may want to know what the deceased looks like, where they will go, what will happen to them after the funeral. These may seem gruesome to you, but they are all completely normal reactions of a child. Answer any questions your child may have, with as much information as he or she needs to know for their age level. Most of the time, a child is happy with a simple answer, so detailed information isn't necessary.
Give your child a way to channel his or her emotions. A journal to write down feelings, thoughts, and memories may help. Drawing pictures to show how he or she is feeling is also a positive way to heal. Provide your child with someone to talk to, whether it be yourself, a friend, a priest or pastor, or a counselor.
Help your child remember the deceased in a positive way. Creating an outdoor memorial with a special bench or by planting a tree is a nice way to pay tribute to a loved one who has passed. Have your child make a book consisting of pictures and positive memories that he or she may have of the deceased.
These are just a few of the many ways that you can help your child cope with the death of a loved one. In the end, know that every child is different. Some may be affected differently than others, and some may seem to not be affected at all. Consider every reaction (aside from thoughts of suicide) normal. Just as grieving and healing are different in every adult, so it is also with children. Because of this, there is no cookie cutter method for dealing with death. You know your child best. Always communicate, be there for them, and love them, and let time do the rest.
Published by Jonna Norris
Jonna Norris has a degree in Education and has written educational curriculum for print as well as for an online school. She has worked with at-risk families and children with special needs. The mother of fi... View profile
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