How to Help Your Child Cope with a Move

We're moving to a new home and our little one totally didn't want to move. We were so excited we just thought that it would rub off of her. When our friend moved a few years ago, his son would just scream for a few weeks and just didn't like the new transition.

After realizing that our own daughter didn't want to make the move, we decided to do a few things to help her with the transition. Moving isn't easy for anyone, especially a 3-year-old. Here are some tips that helped us:

Involve them in the process.

We're fortunate to be moving just 15 minutes away. It's a lot easier for us than someone who is moving to a different time zone or country. We wanted to make sure that she still had a girlie room. So we discussed with her how we can change a few things and keep some of the from her current room. We had her help us pick the paint colors and the border for her new room. When we get there, we will remind her that this is her room, with colors she chose.

Another way we involved her in the moving process was to have her help us pack our household items. You may not want your 3-year-old packing your china, but she can help pack books, clothes, movies and other household items. Particularly make sure she packs her own clothes. When we packed her clothes, my wife made it their special project to work on together. Make sure you break up the project into easy small tasks that aren't overwhelming. Come up with an incentive they can enjoy once they've completed the task. Give them high praise for initiating a particular part of the project. When they say they are tired, let them stop immediately. Keep the atmosphere - and your own attitude - lively and uplifting.

Make new friends and keep the old.

One is silver and the other's gold. That's a Girl Scout song my wife would often sing when she was growing up. Our daughter was so scared that she wouldn't be able to see her current friends. She has a yearly Halloween party and the other night when we were eating pizza ,she said that when it's night time she wanted to have a Halloween party in the current home. I had to explain to her that we were moving and that at Halloween time we won't be in this home. I said that we could still have her Halloween party, but at the new home.

She got sad and said how would her friends be able to find us? I explained we'll just give them directions like when we had to give them directions to our current home. I then explained that in the summer time, we can take lots of walks in the new neighborhood and meet more new friends. Then we can invite the old and new frie over for her Halloween party.

It's easier to keep current friends if your'e only moving 15 mintues away, but what do you do when you're moving several hours away? How do you help them cope with the move and keeping their current friends? Get your child an her own address book and start right away. Have them call their friends and get their addresses. Or if they go to school, make sure you send your new address to school with them with a note to the teacher. Better yet, call the teacher and explain that you'd like for your child's friend's addresses to be in their book. Your child could collect addresses during lunch or recess.

When my wife was younger and she moved, she was given an autograph book that she still has today. She took it wherever she went and had friends write in her autograph book. Now she can feel closer to her buddies from around the world.

In today's time scrapbooking is very popular!! Have a scrapbook party!! Have your children invite their friends over and ask their to bring over pictures with them of past events and have each friend participate with making scrapbook pages. At the end of the session make sure you put the whole book together so that everyone can go through the book before they leave the party. Don't forget to take a picture!!

Talk, talk, talk.

Always talk to your child before and after the move. Give your child opportunities to bring it up. For example, if you're talking with your spouse about banking. Your child might bring up that they won't be able to have a place to put their money. This may seem silly, but for a child their world is to what they currently know. What they know is there is one bank. That one bank is where they currently put their money. When your child brings up the concern make sure you take 4 or 5 minutes out to discuss it. They don't need a discertation on it. They just need to be reassured for the 50th time that things will be ok. Explain to them how yes, banking (or whatever topic it may be) could be a different bank, but the banker knows how to put the money in and they can still have a bank book and see their money grow.

Emphasize what won't change.

Like many young children, our daughter is very attached to her blanket and stuffed animals. When a youngster pictures a new home in her mind, that picture may not have anything in it that is fun or familiar. Remind them that all of their favorite things are coming too. If you're moving to a larger home, emphasize that your child will have more room to play with her siblings and toys. Keep listening and addressing each of your child's concerns, even after the move. If you have the attitude that moving will give your family a happier future, your child will eventually get the message.