How to Help Your Child Deal with the Stigma of a Learning Disability

Your six year old daughter caught you off guard with her innocent question. "Of course not, Honey. Why on earth would you even ask that?' You glance in the rear view mirror at her as you pull out into traffic, troubled by her inquiry.

"Cause the other kids at school said I was dumb because I couldn't read my part in a play. Is there something wrong with me, Mommy? Why can't I read like everybody else?" You can hear the tremor in her voice as she fights back the tears.

"Oh, Honey, you know we talked about this." You want to cry yourself as you share her pain. Why do kids have to be so cruel? But you understand exactly what your daughter is going through. Because you went through it also. You know the feelings of frustration and even self-contempt. You had gone to school in a time when there were no special groups for children with learning disabilities. You had been in the same class with all the other kids. So you knew exactly what your daughter was experiencing.

But you had hoped it would be different for her. After all, the school knew she had a learning disability. She went to a special reading class every day while the other children in her class were doing their reading. The Special Education teacher had only five students in the class with your daughter. So she was getting special assistance with her reading problem.

You had explained to your daughter why she went to another room for her reading class. You had tried to help her understand that different kids had problems with different things. Some kids had problems with math; some kids had problems with spelling. And some kids, like her, had problems with reading. You had pointed out to her how much trouble her friend Janey had learning to ride a bike. So you thought she was okay with it.

But you had forgotten that sometimes you just can't predict everything. Something as simple as trying to read a few lines in a school play had turned into a major crisis in your daughter's eyes. Suddenly, everyone knew she couldn't read. And they had made fun of her. In the eyes of a child, there is no worse feeling in the world.

You pull over to the side of the road and turn the car off. Unbuckling your seat belt, you turn to look at her. "Honey, they just don't understand. Sometimes kids, and even some grownups, say things they don't really mean. Sometimes they don't understand that people are different. Every person does things a little bit different from another. I'll bet that if you played your video game with them, you'd beat most of them. Cause you're a whiz at it. And I'll bet they'd feel bad. Do you remember when you kept beating Janey, how she started crying. That's because she felt you were better at the game than she was. Remember what you did?"

Your daughter nods and smiles. "I let her win the next two games. So she wouldn't feel bad."

"That's right, you did. But then the next time you beat her, she didn't feel as bad. So, tell me, did you bring home the part you have to read in the school play? We can practice reading it tonight."

"Yeah, that's what the teacher said for me to do. She gave me a copy of the play. So Mommy, do you think I can learn to read it all?"

You smile at your daughter. "Yes, Honey, I think you can learn to read it all. It might take you longer than some of the other kids, but that's okay. As long as you keep trying, you will keep learning. That's the important thing to remember. And I promise I'll do everything I can to help you."