How to Help Your Child Want to Listen To You

Getting children to listen to their parents does not always have to come with a fight. When I was raising my son, I found several ways to get him to do things without an argument. The way that I handled things was to first decide how critical they were. If it wasn't a critical situation, then I would explore ways to keep a relaxed environment for my son. In other words, if I wanted something done, I would make sure that there was enough time to do it. I would not put pressure on him to perform immediately. Below are some examples of some of the situations that he and I would go through together.

Every morning when it would come time to eat, I would give my son a choice between two different breakfasts. Each breakfast would consist of a cereal and a fruit. My son got to decide which cereal and which fruit he would like to eat. Notice he did not get a choice as to any other type of breakfast. I had already established that he would eat cereal and fruit. I got to be the leader by telling him that these were his two choices. He got to play a leadership role when he decided which breakfast he would eat. There was no argument. I got what I wanted, and he got what he wanted. The benefit to this way of doing things, was that his self-esteem was built because he felt important. This also created a relaxed environment and the two of us could start out having a great day.

Another situation that my son and I would go through was deciding when he would clean up his toys. He had two choices. He could clean up before bath time or after bath time. If he chose to clean up after bath time, then he would have to take a bath early. The reason for this was so that he would not be running into his bedtime when he was cleaning up his toys. Notice that it was established that he would clean up the toys. This was not up for discussion. Again, I was showing him that I was the boss but his self confidence was raised when he was allowed to decide when to clean up.

As my son got older, I started giving him three decisions to choose from. This was good for him because it started preparing him for adulthood. I would be there to help him to go through the decisions and decide which one was best. We would talk it through and I would let him decide. A benefit of this was that he got to also see the repercussions of making certain decisions. We would discuss how he could have made a better choice.

The important idea that I want to get across here is sometimes we can hinder our children when we don't give them choices. By giving our children choices, we are preparing them to be able to make their own choices when the right time comes. It also can keep a harmonious environment. We need to remember that our ultimate goal is to raise them to be able to take care of themselves. I believe that by giving them choices at an early age, they will be better decision makers as adults.