How to Help Children Overcome Their Fears

Helping children overcome their fear is an important part of parenting.
Often, a child's fear and anxiety may seem trivial and minimal compared to the harsh reality of the world around us. However, it is important for adults to realize that a child's fear is just as real as their own fear about some of the more complex issues in life.

One of the most important steps in helping your children overcome their fears is to realize that their fear is real. Whatever it is that is causing the child to be afraid may or may not be real, however, the feeling itself is very real. It is important to both recognize what causes the anxiety as well as how to help your child to deal with it. Talking through the feelings and sources are extremely important and helpful in order for your child to feel comfortable and deal with their fears. Also, fear becomes less powerful and gripping the more it is talked about.

Another important tip for parents is to avoid belittling the fear in front of the child. The child will begin to think there is something wrong with them or that they are just being a baby and they will not learn how to properly deal with their fears, even as an adult. For example, telling a child not to be ridiculous won't make the fear go away. It will only convince them that adults do not understand and do not care about what is bothering them.

It is also important for parents not to cater the feelings of their child either. For example, if the child does not care for animals, don't deliberately avoid them. This kind of activity only reinforces the fear. Provide support, encouragement and gentle care for the child as you help them through a scary situation such as meeting a dog on the street.

Also, helping your child to rate the fear helps them deal with the intensity of the fear. By rating a fear on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the scariest, they may be able to see the fear as less intense. This is also a good way for you to know how afraid your child truly is.
Parents should also teach coping strategies to their children from a young age. Teach your child a few positive statements such as; 'I will be okay' or 'I can do it' or even just to take a deep breath.

The key to ending fears is to overcome them. So, if there is something the child is particularly afraid of, they should be encouraged to face it. However, it is often best dealt with in small incremental steps.

Depending on the stage of development, fears can often be identified as common. For babies under 10 months, there tends to be a good deal of separation anxiety. Clinging to parents when confronted by people they don't recognize is common.

For toddlers between 10 and 18 months, it is also common to experience separation anxiety and to become emotionally distressed when one or both parents leave.

Children between the ages of 4-6 will often have irrational fears and anxiety of such things as monsters in the closet. Children between 7-12 often have fears that reflect real circumstances that may happen to them. Things like fires, tornadoes and bodily injuries are often legitimate fears for children of this age.
As children continue to grow and develop one fear may be replaced by another.

It is also important to realize that some fears are healthy. We wouldn't want our children to be too comfortable around strangers or in threatening situations and the fear produced is actually a great defense mechanism and deterrent.