How to Help Your Friend Who Just Had a Baby

Having a baby is a very stressful thing, especially for first-time mothers. Birth can be traumatic and painful. It takes the full nine months of pregnancy to plan for a baby. But, when it's said and done, most new moms still feel overwhelmed when they bring their bundle of joy home from the hospital. As hormonal as a new mom can be, they most likely do want your help. They may be moody and think they'd rather be left alone, but there are many things you can do to help someone who just brought a baby home. Some of them are no-brainers, while others are more creative and involved. If you know someone who just gave birth, consider doing at least one of these things for her. You can really take a load off of their shoulders. Perhaps they can even find the time to take a shower!

Cook them dinner. Okay, so we have all heard about making our friends meals and freezing them or bringing them over. However, most mothers don't even have the time to cook even ready-made items. If they are really in control, they may be able to convince their husband to do it. But, it would just be easier for you to make the meal and deliver it fresh and hot. Or, if they don't mind the company, cook the meal for them at their own home.

Volunteer to do their grocery shopping. New babies mean lots of trips to the store. Even the most prepared and well-stocked parents will find themselves running out of things they need. You may have obligations that prevent you from taking care of the random trips, but you can almost certainly find the time to do their major weekly or bi-weekly shopping trip for the first month. Newborns aren't even supposed to be in public places until they are six weeks old, so moms resort to sending their husbands out or leaving the baby. No mom wants to be bothered with 10,000 phone calls from Dad because he can't find the Boudreaux's Butt Paste. No new mother wants to leave their baby, either. So, tell them you are available to do their major shopping trip if they need you.

Do the laundry. Most people don't like the idea of you seeing their underwear, so offering to do the family's laundry may not be a good idea. They may feel uncomfortable about it. But, most people would not oppose to you coming over to do the baby's laundry. New babies go through lots of clothes in their first few weeks. Explosive meconium diapers, reflux, and discovering which diapers work best are all reasons they may find themselves changing their baby three or more times per day. Offer to come over once or twice per week to wash the baby clothes. They'll appreciate not having to spend an hour washing, folding, and putting away.

Watch the baby while they take a bath. The first weeks after birth make for a messy time. Moms can bleed for weeks or more after having a baby. With all of the new tasks to be done, it can be hard to get a shower on the schedule. Come over and watch the baby whenever you can so that Mom can get a shower without having to hear the baby scream in the other room. Watching the baby during Mom's shower also lets her get some alone time without feeling guilty. Many new moms don't want to put their baby down for anything, so the few minutes of hot relaxing water will be a great escape for her.

Put together a "Mom package." After a baby is born, many mothers feel depressed because the attention is not on them anymore. There's no belly to rub and stare at. The focus is now on the baby. Put together a care package for her so that she feels important. You can fill it with essentials and luxuries, or whatever you life. Every mom will need sanitary pads, so that is a good thing to include.

There are many ways you can help a new mother without interfering with her special bonding time. Assure her that you will give her the space that she needs. Take cues from her so that you can recognize when it may be time to leave and give her some more time alone. Don't become offended if your friend doesn't praise you for your help. Moms are often so tired and disoriented that they can easily forget the feelings of others.