How to Help Friends and Family Cope with Your Dramatic Weight Loss

That extra layer of flesh you carried with you for most of your life literally became a part of your identity. Family and friends were comforted by your appearance, and you likely allowed yourself to conform to one of the many stereotypes used to label those who are less than healthy. When that weight finally does come off, a part of your identity goes with it. Some will be ready to accept the new you, some will downplay your accomplishments in order to keep the stereotypes alive, and some will become self conscious and perhaps even a little jealous. Regardless, there are steps you can take to make sure that everyone you love joins with you in celebrating your success. Consider the following tips on how to help friends and family cope with your dramatic weight loss.

Step #1: Address the issue openly. Acknowledge your new look, and don't be afraid to discuss what made you decide to tackle your weight. Whether for health reasons, for a new job, or to fit into your old jeans again, let those you care about know what made you decide that you weren't happy with your old self. Letting go of the old you may be a difficult process if your family and friends can't come to terms with why exactly you were dissatisfied with yourself when they loved you exactly as you were. Give them a bit of insight into the decision making process that prompted you to make a change for the better.

Step #2: Emphasize the reasons you and your loved ones have always been so close. "Skinny" friends are often labeled as hip, sarcastic, flighty, dense, and even self-absorbed. Just as you were beginning to let go of the stereotypes that accompany being heavier (warm, funny, relaxed, forgiving, comforting, low self esteem, self-sacrificing), the new stereotypes will begin to set it. Help friends and family see that you are the same person, but now perhaps the real you has an even better chance to shine. Defy all stereotypes and remind your loved ones of all the reasons they really loved you all along.

Step #3: Avoid creating a divide between your healthy lifestyle and the lifestyles of friends and family after your weight loss journey has ended. While you certainly have the right to insist on ordering what you like at restaurants, try to resist the temptation to let everyone at the table know just how clogged their arteries will be if they choose the bacon-cheese fries. While you likely learned a great deal about calorie amounts, portion sizes, and so on during your weight loss period, sharing your knowledge without being asked can be offensive and turn others off. On that note, not every social outing has to revolve around a marathon or hiking trail, either. Make room for the interests of others along with your own new, healthier preferences and avoid ostracizing your loved ones. As long as you enjoy being together, what you do should be of little importance.

Step #4: Don't go into hiding after a few awkward initial meetings. If you find yourself running into family and friends who haven't seen you since before you began losing weight, you may find yourself facing a few less than tactful remarks. While they may be well-intentioned, some individuals will inevitably mention your past weight problem openly rather than simply complementing your new look. If you can't bear the attention and the public discussions about past weight issues, try to maintain a bit of perspective. First, accept the comments as compliments if you possibly can....that's usually what they are, regardless of how they come out. Secondly, remember that the sudden attention will pass. Enjoy the well verbalized compliments, and endure the rest as merely a part of being so successful in meeting your weight loss goals. Remember that the more time you spend showing off your new figure, the faster those around you will begin to accept your new look with ease.

Step #5: Let negative "new" relationships go. While most of the "problems" above are trivial in comparison to a weight problem and are welcome "difficulties," it can sting to find out after a dramatic weight drop that some relationships are simply beyond repair. It isn't uncommon for successful dieters to find that some of their friends and family simply kept their friendship before to comfort themselves or make themselves look better in comparison. When you are suddenly on the same playing field, things may take a turn. Signs to watch out for include downplaying of your accomplishments (both in public and private), jealous remarks, and refusal to discuss your weight loss. If you find yourself having to play the part of the heavy friend regardless of your new look, it may be time to let the relationship go.

Remember, helping friends and family cope with your dramatic weight loss is about you and your comfort level. Doing so can help you ease into your new lifestyle with fewer roadblocks. Take the initiative and help those you care about celebrate your successes right alongside you.