How to Help Your Husband Become a Father
Involvement- Having your husband involved in the pregnancy and upcoming birth should be a top priority when it comes to helping your husband become a father. Men need time and preparation to become a father. That's why the realization of impending fatherhood does not hit most men until well into the pregnancy when he can feel his unborn baby's kicks against his hand on your tummy. Many men just don't feel it's "real" until there is proof, aside from the expanding waistline, that there is really a little person waiting to be born. So it's a really good idea to let your husband be as involved as possible in everything to do with the pregnancy and baby. Ask him to go to your doctor appointments so that he can familarize himself with the things that are involved in your care, as well as the baby's care. When you have a scheduled ultrasound make sure that your husband can be there to enjoy seeing his child with you. There's nothing like the first time you see your unborn baby on that little ultrasound monitor. You can even take special birthing and/or childcare classes together during your pregnancy. You may know how to take care of babies but if your husband is a first-time dad it is highly doubtful that he knows much about caring for a baby. Let him help you pick out things while baby shopping or registering for your baby shower. Many men do enjoy baby shopping even if they don't act like they do. Just letting him be involved in as much as possible will help him prepare for his upcoming role as "DAD".
Books- Books can be an important aspect of helping your husband become a father. More than likely you will have to buy the books for him but if he gets interested enough he will read them. A few books that are highly recommended by other fathers are "The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice For Dads-To-Be" and "The New Father: A Dad's Guide To The First Year" by Armin Brott, "My Boys Can Swim!: The Official Guy's Guide to Pregnancy" by Ian Davis and "Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads" by Gary Greenburg and Jeannie Hayden. You never know, your husband may like the books so much that he recommends them to every expectant father he meets.
TV and Movies- There are many television shows and movies based on pregnancy and the expectant couple. TLC (The Learning Channel) and The Discovery Channel even have blocks of television devoted to pregnancy and childbirth. These television shows are great to watch when you want your husband to have an idea of how things may go when you give birth and after the baby arrives. Of course, don't expect your husband to act like he really wants to watch them. You may need to just turn them on while he's in the room with you. I'll bet that when you look over he will be fully enthralled with the program. Use these shows and movies as a learning opportunity for you and your husband. I know many mothers who were drawn to these shows during their pregnancy, myself included, so their husbands received tons of information from them without even having to act like they were watching.
Discussions- Talking to your husband about the pregnancy and upcoming birth can help ease his fears and anxieties. So taking the time to just sit and talk about the impending changes can help your husband get more into his role as expectant father. Give him the chance to air his concerns and feelings without feeling silly or ignored. Just like you may be anxious about giving birth, your husband can be anxious about you giving birth. Give him his time to talk things out whenever he needs to.
Friends Who Are Parents- If you and your husband have friends that are already parents you, and he, may enjoy talking to them about their experiences. Men do especially well just talking to other men who are fathers and who were involved in the pregnancy beforehand. If your friends have young children your husband may even enjoy helping out with the children from time to time. It may be a good time to offer an evening of babysitting to your friends so that they can get out for some time together and you and your hubby can get a little child experience under your belts.
Being At the Birth- Lastly, it's time for the birth. Allowing your husband to be with you at the birth and to help you through the labor is a high event. There are a variety of feelings that men have about being at the birth of their children ranging from "YES! I want to be there." down to "NO WAY! You couldn't pay me to be there." Some men will even go from the "no way" stage to the "yes" stage during the many months of pregnancy. Whether your husband knows it or not, being at the birth of his child is an important event and will help guide him in the years to come. Seeing his baby coming from the body of the woman he loves the most can be an emotional event to many men. So definitely steer your husband towards helping you out during labor and being at the birth of his child. He will never regret it and you will enjoy having the man you love support you during the difficult task of giving birth.
In the end, you and your husband will become parents to this adorable, little, wrinkly person who will demand your attention day and night. It will be a new experience and you will miss it when your baby is older. You and your husband will grow closer together because of that little person and the fact that he or she was created from the two of you. Your husband will become a father whether he evolved into one slowly and with lots of interest or if you had to drag him, kicking and screaming, into fatherhood. He will look at his little baby and fall instantly in love and you will fall more in love with your husband just by seeing the way he adores your baby. Good luck and happy parenting!
Published by Christie Silvers
In addition to online articles, Christie also enjoys writing paranormal fiction. She lives in Georgia with her husband, three daughters, chickens, dogs, and numerous cats. No, it's not a farm, but sometime... View profile
- A Biblical Perspective on How to Fireproof Your MarriageDiscover 3 key principles in the Bible for Fireproofing your Marriage.
- How to Determine Your Role in Your MarriageBefore getting married, you should discuss what you expect of each other in this marriage, and who is more properly suited to certain tasks.
- How to Write Your Memories And Share Your Life Experiences with Your Family or Loc...Are you a Senior Citizen? Maybe a grandparent? Do you have memories of a childhood that the kids of today would be amazed at?
- How to Get Your Significant Other Interested in Video GamesFinding it hard to get your significant other interested in your video game habit? Here are some helpful hints on how to make that happen.
- How to Explain Your Decision to Become a Vegetarian or Vegan to Others Vegetarians get a bad name (often at their own fault). Here is how to be vegetarian and talk about it without conflict.
- How-To Keep Your Husband From Feeling Neglected with a New Baby
- The Games of an Alcoholic Husband - Don't Play!
- Tips for Getting Your Husband Involved in Your Pregnancy
- My Tom, Sailor, Father & Friend
- How to Help Children Understand and Cope with Racially Charged Presidential Verbal...
- How to Get Your Wedding Dress, Invitations, and Decorations Cheap or Free
- How to Get Your Child Support !
- Many men will need that extra push to be involved in the pregnancy.
- Impending fatherhood may not become a reality for your husband until far into the pregnancy.
- Your husband will fall instantly in love with his child.
26 Comments
Post a CommentI enjoyed your thoughts on fatherhood. I recently wrote an article called "Dads, You Cannot Babysit Your Own Children."
Adorable pic! You have offered some great advice. Luckily my hubby wanted to be involved and attempted almost everything. He used to put a clothes pin on his nose when he changed their diapers to which we have some great photo's capturing this. The kids and I still laugh about it when looking through pictures.
I'm sorry to say, Paul, that I still disagree with you. Men aren't taught about parenting throughout their childhood like women are. They aren't taught to play the role of father, as women are encouraged to play the role of mother. It's all about social conditioning, as well as the biological fact that the mother has felt the child moving inside her for 9 months and thus has a bit of advantage in the involvement section.
I don't see where it's a biological fact that men take longer than women to grow up except for in the bones. We are all formed by our surroundings. We do all need guidance but to me I'm not completely offended by this article because I'm sure the intent wasn't meant to insult men, but I do feel that it is condescending to title it "how to help your husband be a better father".the lines are too blurred now to stereotype based on gender. i'll never be a mother to my child nor will my wife ever be a father. This article isn't titled help your husband be a better PARENT. It isn't even titled help your spouse be a better parent. Maybe if it was titled "how to include your husband in the pregnancy if he feels left out" would make more sense. An article titled "how to help your wife cook like your mom"...how well would that fly?
be nurturing, not to be sensitive. Maybe that's why some need a little help from their female counterparts, who have these values instilled in them at girlhood. We're conditioned by our culture, men to be strong and women to be nurturing. That's changing these days, and men are becoming less afraid to be nurturing and women less afraid to be strong. But that doesn't mean that sometimes, a man doesn't need a woman to help him undo the conditioning of society. Or that sometimes a woman doesn't need a man to guide her in certain areas. My husband and I guide each other. That doesn't make either of us less responsible, mature, or grown up.
It is a biological fact that men take longer than women to grow up. The average female stops growing at 18, and the average male stops growing at 21. Am I saying all women are mature or are more mature? No, but they are typically ready for motherhood before their male counterparts. Look at most teen mothers. Where are the fathers? Not ready for parenthood, that's where. Needing guidance transitioning to parenthood isn't about maturity or being grown up. It's about needing a little guidance from the person who has spent the last 9 months interacting with the baby 24/7 and feeling him move within her. There are differences between men and women. The woman is the one that goes through the pain of labor to be so relieved when she holds that baby; the man can only watch and offer support. Men and women have different roles to play, and sometimes, BOTH need guidance. Typically, it is the man that needs the woman to take him by the hand. One explanation: in our society, men are taught not to
My husband needs guidance in some things, just as I need his guidance in others. It has nothing to do with maturity. We all have our own individual strengths and weaknesses, and we ALL need guidance at some point.
You've offered helpful advice for those who need it. Involving dad from the start is only fair. Love the photo. Reminds me of the birth of my latest granddaughter.
While I don't think all men take longer to grow up, and I don't think all men need help transitioning to fatherhood, there are some men who do need the help. (There are some women who need help transitioning to motherhood as well, but that's another article.) This article is helpful to those who need it. Wonderful article!
Also, while boys play sports or video games during their childhood, girls have baby dolls and are much more interested in babies than boys are. That's just a genetic and social difference. In the hospital, nurses focus on teaching new moms how to manage the baby -- and the dads are left out. Women are expected to understand it, fair or not. Men, thank God, are generally interested enough to get involved. That means the mother generally gets to teach the dad -- and done well, it's a great opportunity for both to bond over the baby. That is the way it is, until someone re-educates society in general differently.