How to Help a Senior Family Member Stay Connected with Family

Because our senior aged relatives may not be as mobile or independent as they once were does not mean that they have lost a zest for life nor lack interest in participating in family events. Sadly, as age begins its slow progression into the lives of our beloved senior relatives, there is a tendency to exclude or assume the senior relative does not want to be involved or would not be interested in the affairs of the family. We sometimes erroneously believe that there is no point or benefit in including the relative in the special occasions that a family celebrates because "after all, they can't walk like they once did" or "the travel is too far" or any other innumerable excuses that come to mind. As family members or caregivers there are methods that can be used to help the senior aged relative stay in contact with family and feel that they are "in touch" and not isolated from the special events and occasions.

Purchase an assortment of cards for your senior relative
It may not be possible or feasible for your senior relative to shop for birthday cards, special occasion cards to send family members. It is helpful to purchase the cards for the relative, label the cards with the name of the recipient, and a list of addresses of the recipients. I have found that is is helpful if you make a call to the senior relative a few days prior to remind them that it is time to send Aunt Sally a birthday card or to send the anniversary card, etc to a family member. Putting the "send" date discretely in pencil somewhere on the envelope or card will help ensure the card will be sent in time. The cards can be kept in an inexpensive plastic "see through" container for ease in selecting the desired card and can be organized by date, individual or holiday, whatever method preferred.

Directory or phone numbers of friends and relatives of your senior aged relative
Seniors keenly feel the loss of friends and family so it is important to help them keep in contact with their friends and relatives who live nearby or out of the area. They may not take the initiative to make the call but if you maintain a directory of their friends and relatives and sit with them and even dial the call for them, it can be a pleasant experience for them to converse with their old time acquaintances and family. It helps to cheer them and hopefully makes them feel wanted and loved. Frequency of calls can be made to suit the preference of your senior family member--some calls may be made monthly; others less frequently or on special occasions.

Shopping Trips
If your senior relative feels so inclined, family members can take turns to offer to take them on a shopping trip to purchase items that they would like. Make it a day when you are not rushed and can give them time to shop for what they want. Shopping with your beloved senior relative gives an opportunity for the younger and older generations to bond. Younger relatives can learn patience and compassion by having the opportunity to interact with senior family members rather than harboring false stereotypes about "old age". Schedule a time to take the family member on a shopping trip just for the sheer enjoyment of window shopping or looking at innovative products, etc. Family members can take turns accompanying the senior relative on these shopping outings. Getting out of the home and shopping can serve as an enjoyable social activity for the senior family member. After all, seniors like to people watch too!

Maintain frequent contact with Senior family member
Younger relatives may have the daily constraints of work and school that prevent them from maintaining contact with senior family members. However, a telephone call or sending a card does much to buoy the spirits of the senior family member. In our family, my sisters and I follow a designated schedule to send cards and notes to our older family members. There is nothing like receiving an unexpected card from a family member and it serves to relay to the family member that they are still viewed as valued members of the family. Often the card or phone call will motivate the senior family member to return the call or card in acknowledgment of your thoughtfulness.

Computers and Fax machines
Seniors may not be able to write well as age advances but that is no reason in today's wonderful world of technology to be isolated from family and friends. Many senior centers and libraries give instruction on how to use a computer and send emails. If you have a senior loved one, volunteer to spend time to teach email basics so that they can send and receive emails from family. No need to teach the more complicated uses of computers if they show no desire to learn such advanced techniques. Even a computer that is set up for just sending and receiving email is helpful and desirable to maintain family contact. A fax machine can be utilized to send simple letters or photos if a computer is unavailable. The key is to utilize whatever means necessary and available to help your senior relative stay "in touch" and feel included in family affairs. When it is impossible for Uncle Joe to attend the wedding of great granddaughter Jane in Bermuda, send photos in nearly "real time" to your loved one. It will give a feeling of closeness even though your relative was not able to attend.

These suggestions are helpful in keeping your senior family member actively involved in family affairs and serves to help them feel that they are still a part of family events even though they may be unable to travel for health reasons. Enriching the lives of our senior relatives through our assistance and support is vital to the well being of the senior family member. Our senior family members deserve to be respected and revered for their wisdom, maturity and longevity.