How to Help Your Shy Child Make Friends

Many kids may dread going back to school because it's time to study and do homework again. However, for a shy child, meeting new kids can be just as challenging as having to study.

Do you have a shy child? Years ago, as a first-grader, I was that shy child who spent most of my time playing alone. My parents, as well as my teachers tried to bring me out of my shell. Fortunately, I grew up and stopped being afraid to meet new people. Although still introverted, I'm nothing like that shy little girl that hid behind her mother's skirt on my first day of school back in 1955. Here are some tips for helping your child overcome his (or her) shyness....

What to Do

Let your child know you understand - First, you need to communicate that you understand his (or her) struggles making new friends. Then, give him something tangible, such as a small pebble or key ring he can put in his pocket. Tell him that every time he panics, meeting someone new, to take out the object and be reassured that Mom is thinking about him, as well as praying. Let the object remind him that he CAN do it.

Meet with your child's teacher -Meet with your child's teacher, sharing your concerns. Then, discuss ways you can work together to help him become more sociable.

Encourage your child to join after school clubs and activities - Wholesome organizations such as Scouting, Little League, and other activities not only help to bring out an introverted kid, but also pique an interest in hobbies that can last for years and even a lifetime.

Invite other children to come over for visits and sleepovers - Continually encourage your child to ask friends to visit. Besides helping him socially, you can also observe what's going on get to know his friends.

Volunteer at your child's school - Not only will you be drawing more attention to your child, but teachers will also appreciate your help. What's more, you can observe first-hand how your child interacts with classmates, as well as any areas where he needs improvement and encouragement.

Host a party - If your child has a birthday coming up, plan a party. On the other hand, you don't have to wait for his birthday. Throw a back-to-school party, harvest festival, etc.

Help your child list questions - Explain to him how he can prepare ahead of time when meeting someone he doesn't know. For example, have him prepare a list of questions to ask such as, "What do you like to do after school? Do you have a favorite TV program?"

Discourage too much solitary time along -- Introverts tend to spend too much time alone watching TV, surfing the internet, and playing video games. Instead of your child spending time doing solitary activities, help your child bond with friends with similar interests.

What NOT to Do

Don't lecture - Instead of berating your child for being shy, encourage him. Tell him that he has special gifts and talents and doesn't need to be like everyone else. In other words, don't emphasize his shyness which only makes him more self-conscious. Just point out specifics how he can overcome his fears of meeting new kids.

Don't do everything for your child - If the phone rings, encourage your child to answer it. When someone's at the door (and you know it's a safe person), purposely busy yourself, allowing your child to welcome whomever is calling.

Finally, set a good example yourself. In other words, let your child see you go out of your way to be friendly when meeting new people. If he sees that it's a pleasurable experience for you, chances are he'll be more likely to follow you in making new friends.