How to Help Your Spouse Cope with the Death of a Loved One

Marriage is a great thing for any couple. There are many things that can test a relationship. One of these is death. I have to say that it is hard to have a death in the family at any time, but when it is someone close it makes it even harder. My husband and I had been married for almost two years when a very unexpected death happened in our family. We received a phone call one night that devastated our whole family. We had found out that my husband's brother had died of a massive heart attack. He was only 36 and left behind a loving wife and four children.

Any death is hard, but this was a death of someone that only had a short life. When this happens to your spouse, you should be very supportive. You need to explain to them that God has his reasons for taking this person. With us we were actually told to come to the hospital and weren't told of the death until we got there. I just held my husband and tried to be there for him. He never really cried. I knew it would come later.

After a few days it started to really sink in. We were lying in bed that night and he just started to cry. He let it all out and said that he was so upset that this had happened and that he didn't get the chance to say he loved David. When you are going through this you need to let them open up when they are ready. Do not pressure them to talk about the death. Let them come to you with this, but lend a shoulder to cry on. If it is your husband explain to them that there is nothing wrong with letting it out. My husband said he didn't want to look weak.

During the week of the funeral all of David's children stayed with us off and on. This was a great way to help James cope because he had them to keep his mind occupied. When the death happened I called his work for him, so he wouldn't have to tell them what happened. They allowed him to take off a whole week for bereavement. If their employer will allow you to call for them, you should. It will be one less thing that they have to deal with.

When we went to view the body, James was fine the first time, but the second time he had to leave the funeral home. As a supportive spouse you should ask them if they would like to be alone, or for you to stay with them.

Throughout the whole grieving process you should be supportive. You should listen attentively. You should just be there for them. Do not let them worry about mundane things. This will help them get through the grieving process on their time. Never force them to talk about the death until they are ready. Everyone grieves differently and for different amounts of time. Allow for this and understand that the two of you can get through it together.