How to Help Your Stuttering Child

My son was recently evaluated for speech and was told he had a very mild stutter. The speech pathologist asked me several questions and seems to believe that at almost 4 years old, his is not a permanent stutter but could be from living in a home with an older brother who likes to speak for him, where mom and dad are rushing around to pick up kids, drop off kids, get to work, make dinner and his tiny system just gets stressed. So for me I found several things that have helped tremendously and the more we follow these steps the less and less I see him stuttering. I can not say if this will help with children who do not outgrow stuttering or have it as a serious issue, but if your child does stutter and need s speech therapy but not on an intensive level like mine then you can also help out at home with these simple ideas:

1. A great tip the speech pathologist gave me was to use a signal, I am always on the phone making appointments, talking to different people, etc. or will be out in the store and see someone I know or start a conversation with someone, my son will want my attention and will try to talk to me, in the past I would simply tell him "wait a minute" or ignore him or tell him to be quiet until I am done talking, and as he would keep calling for me his stuttering would get worse. So now when we are in those situations and I hear him call to me, if I am at home on the phone I will walk over to him and lightly touch his arm, just put my hand on his arm and give him a nod, so he knows I hear him and he knows he will have my attention shortly, and when we are out in public I pretty much do the same, I will take a second to look away at the person I am talking to and just give a quick nod or acknowledgment to my son, I am yet to run into someone who has problem with this as they can clearly see I am only looking away from them for one second to tend to my child. He has learned to be more patient and not feel the need to fight for my attention, which always caused him to feel more nervous and stutter.

2. Also the speech pathologist told me what I already knew, I needed to toughen up! My children know how to get away with anything with their mommy! A few tears or really cute sounding "pleeeasse mommy?" and I give in. So my son would be out in a store and want a certain item, I would say no, he would ask again, and again, and again, and I would say no, he would eventually get upset and the frustration would come out in a stutter, he would yell at me or throw a tantrum and the stress and frustration he was feeling in not getting his way caused stuttering, now I will say no, if he asks again I will say no, we are leaving if you keep this up, and if he asks again, we leave the store. I have learned to not let the situation get out of control that leads him to get so stressed he starts stuttering and I get so stressed that I try to just drown out his tantrum, now rather than get upset and stress his system he knows that I will stick to my guns on a lot of things and their is no point in trying to argue with me.

3. And of course there are tips that go without saying, slow down! Enjoy your child and what he has to say. If you are in the middle of dinner and suddenly your stuttering child wants to to talk, let him, maybe invite him to help make dinner, have him mix something or just sit at a table near you coloring and talking while you listen. The house is messy and you want to clean up but your child wants to talk with you, take 5 minutes to talk, the mess will still be there and in the long run your kids will remember the time you took to be with them not the time you took to clean he house. Since my son has really felt like we are listening to him and not just sort of listening while doing a million other things has also improved his speech tremendously.

4. Try to let them talk. With my children I always love to hear what come out of their mouths, so if they ask me a question I will answer and then maybe ask them a question just to see their responses or to keep their minds going, but let your stuttering child lead the conversation, do not make him feel like he has to talk, let him talk about things he wants to talk about and feel relaxed in the conversation.

5. Don't criticize, even things you think may be positive can hurt a stuttering child. I would always say to my son "slow down" or "take your time", I stopped saying those things and just let him speak, even if he was stuttering and he seems to be doing better. Someone pointed out to me that although I don't see anything wrong with it, he may see me as interrupting him right when he is stuttering as if I see something wrong with his stutter and want him to stop. Now he sees me as listening and accepting no matter how he sounds, so now I will just let him go on and on talking as much as he wants, if I see him in a nervous or stressful situation I just remove him from it instead of telling him to slow down. If he is around his friends and everyone is screaming and playing, I take him somewhere quiet so he can speak to me.