How to Get Him Back - Respectfully

If you are searching this topic, you are not alone. If you were to type in a search engine "How to get him," "How to get him back" is the first and most poplar searched suggestion that Google will offer. This actually really surprises me because I am married, and I can think of a million (and one) ways to complete this sentence, "How to get him..." But, the world is out there searching "How to get him back."

The real question is...why do you want him back if he chose to leave?

Don't Blame Yourself

First of all, this is one of the first things I see women do when they get to wanting back the man they had: blame themselves. In fact, I have done this very thing, so I get it. It ended and now you are over-thinking the break up, the cold shoulder, the no-calls, and the goodbye. You are going over it in your mind and have already landed on ways you could have been better. If you were better, he would want you. Right?

Good Gosh, Girl! Get a hold of yourself! Any guy that doesn't love you for the way you are is not your guy. Any guy that can't forgive you is not someone you want to devote more time to. This is not the stuff solid relationships are made of! (Now, if you cheated on the guy and he has left, you need to find another article.)

Let him go and stop picking your actions, you motives, your outfit...yourself apart. He moved on. He rejected you. That is hard, but that is real or you wouldn't want him back. He's gone. So, stop looking at yourself and ways you could have cow-towed more to his barely-interested self. Yes, I said it. He was barely interested or he wouldn't have moved on

FACT: Guys that are totally in to you will endure ridiculous amounts of flaws.

Consider Change Carefully

If you are thinking you are going to change and do things differently to win him back, let me ask you, "Will this change be something that is more like you, or less like you?" Are you planning on being who you really are to win him back? That is a really key question. Because, if you want to alter the way you naturally feel like acting, you are not being yourself and ultimately, if you get him back...it is a matter of time before you are yourself again...and he will be rejecting you again.

FACT: You cannot hide who you really are for too long. It's tiring. Wherever you go, there you are.

Just Stop

It is time to stop. Stop and look at the world. It is huge. There is a guy out there. This is not the only guy, this guy that left you. This guy that is disinterested is not the only one that will see the great and wonderful person you are!

Stop and look at yourself. What do you like about YOU? If you are having a hard time because you have spent so many minutes or hours seeing yourself as HE sees you, consider how someone that loves you sees you. Maybe it is your mom, or brother, or best friend. What do they like? Odds are there are a lot of things to like about you and it is time to grow those things. Do things that bring out what is good in you, so you are reminded of how good you are.

If you like talking about a certain thing, or doing a certain thing that you lose track of time doing...these are your strengths. Play to your strengths and remind yourself that you do have interests besides HIM. You do not need a man (particularly one not interested) to complete you.

FACT: You are most attractive when you are strong!

When you stop blaming yourself, start changing in ways that are true to your heart and take time to focus on your strengths...you just might find a certain someone searching for ways to get the grounded, confident YOU back - instead of the other way around!