How to Hire a Great Nanny

Parenting is hard work. It is rewarding, yes, but it is filled with moments of intense anxiety and years of worry. Not a single parent worth the title they bear has gone through a week without worrying that they're "messing up" their child. We second-guess ourselves at every turn and just hope that we're doing the best we can for our children.

When it comes time to return to work, the fears mount. Finding that perfect nanny or babysitter, the person who you hope will fill the loving shoes of caretaker during the day, is one of the most difficult things you'll ever have to do.

There are horror stories about nannies and babysitters everywhere you look. There are also some key steps to avoid becoming a horror story yourself.

Be Clear with Your Needs

Every family is different, and every parent values different qualities in a caretaker for their children. Some parents absolutely feel that a nanny should stay at home with the child until they've come back to relieve them of caretaking duties, while other parents strongly believe that the nanny should have an impeccable driving record and the willingness to take their charges on outings.

Being clear with your needs serves two purposes: one, it allows you to define specific needs within your help wanted ads that will weed out poor candidates. Secondly, it will help you focus on the things most important to you during the critical interview.

Your first step should be to sit down and write a detailed list. Don't worry about whether or not you're being unrealistic - list the qualities of a dream nanny. Should they love pets? Be a five-star chef? Have a background in child psychology? Go over the top - just don't expect that all your more outlandish needs will be perfectly fulfilled. If an understanding of child psychology is important to you, you might be pleasantly surprised by the candidate that shows up with a certification in childcare, where s/he learned the basics of child psychology.

The list will, eventually, take two forms - the first being very condensed, the most important qualities that you decide to place in an ad. The second form will be a checklist for you, to keep with you when you start interviewing. Type it up and print out several copies so that you're prepared from the start.

Don't Contact References - Interview Them

References are, unfortunately, easy to "fake". The most desperate would-be nanny can always convince a friend or two to pose as former employers and give you an entirely inaccurate impression of their abilities.

Even if they're not this dishonest, getting a clear picture of your child's potential caretaker can be difficult to achieve.

Get as many references as you can from the nanny you're considering hiring. Former employers and other authority figures (younger babysitters might not have much experience with employers but have shining references from college teachers, for example) are essential.

When you interview the references you're given, don't ask questions that can be answered with a "yes" or a "no". Reference your checklist of qualities you deem important and ask direct questions that can either back up or destroy the nanny's interview answers. Questions that can receive detailed responses are perfect. Ask things like, "Describe three things the nanny did for fun with your kids," or "Please tell me about a time when the children needed to be disciplined - how did the nanny handle the situation?" Stay away from questions like, "Were you pleased with the nanny's performance?" because these questions can be answered in a single word and you won't get the clear picture you need to make judgement.

To help protect yourself against fake references, be sure to ask about employment dates and children's ages. "Fakes" will usually get something wrong - make sure that what your nanny has said and what the reference states are the same thing.

Get the Background Check

It's very easy when looking for someone who will - hopefully - become as close to you as family to stop thinking of yourself as an employer. When it comes to the person who will be with your children every day, you can't afford to think of yourself as anything but the employer.

In the workplace, background checks are commonplace. They should be no less commonplace with someone you're inviting into your home to be with your children daily.

When performing interviews, make sure that you get potential nannies to fill out a consent form to have their background records checked. You'll need their social security number, full name (and maiden name, if applicable), and the address they currently live at as well as their last residence.

Get the background report from a reputable agency. Many people turn to the Internet - be aware that most Internet agencies comprise a small percentage of actual criminal files. What you want is an agency that will dig in for you, check references and government databases, and turn up even "little" things like petty theft or assault - a big deal to parents.

Criminal background checks do cost a fair bit of money - they average about $100 per report. Save yourself some money and only request reports on the top picks. If you don't have the money for that, still warn all candidates during the interview that you're going to perform the checks. This alone will scare off any interviewees that have something to hide.