How to Be Homeless in America in Style

I actually don't know if these people are homeless.This is actually a quite serious article about how to make it if you're ever caught homeless. There could be a point where you get kicked out of your apartment or something, and all your friends are out of town; you never know. But being homeless doesn't mean you're down and out. You can still make your job interviews, dates, and look good doing it. Here's how to be homeless in America in style.

1.
Gym membership for showers!You will need a gym membership for long showers and morning activites. Hit up 24 Hour Fitness. There you go -- free shower and good daily workouts. Hey, this homeless thing might actually be better for you than your house.

2.
Use the mall bathroom as your personal bathroom.The only thing you really lose in a home, especially if you're renting, is a place to do bathroomy things. That's why America is #1; there are plenty of public places where people can't tell if you're homeless or not, as long as you shave. One: The mall. Two: The park. Three: The gym. Four: Gas station, although I only recommend in an emergency. Pack up your toiletries and learn the open and close times. You'll be taking short showers when the mall opens.

3.
To be homeless in style, you need a little money.You do need a bit of cash to be homeless in style, but not much. You want to keep your clothes clean at the public laundromat. However, don't be wasteful and buy those high priced convenience samples there. Stay smart and continue to shop at the grocery store for non-perishable items, which you will keep in your trunk.

4.
Keep your big stuff in a public locker. It's almost as big as your apartment, but only costs $100.Big items can be stored in a public locker, which can be had for about $100 a month -- no big deal. Just remember to pay that rent on time, or they'll auction your stuff off. And if you can't find any other place to sleep, you can pitch a tent there. Make sure you aren't visible from the outside. The owners tend to frown on squatters.

5.
Go America!The last step, especially important today, is computer time. Really, even more than private bathrooms, what you give up in a house is private computer time. And granted, you won't be able to look up your private things where I'm suggesting you do computer work, but you will get computer for free. Nearby public college libraries don't care who uses their stuff, and public libraries are a great place. Now if you can't help but look up your pornography, you can also go to Internet gaming rooms where the teens go. Find a computer in the back room where nobody goes and have at. Good luck being homeless in style, and go America!!