How Important is it for Children to Have Manners?

The way we turn out as adults has a lot to do with the way we were raised. I can't remember my mom teaching me manners as a child, but I'm sure she did. She had to of because there is never a time when you will not hear a please or thank you from me. I have manners that go far beyond those but for some reason that is what is on my mind right at this moment.

We have taught our children that when they ask for something they need to say "May I please have a glass of water." as opposed to "I want a glass of water." or "Can I have a glass of water." I like for my children to show adults respect and I feel this is an easy way to do so. If my children ask for something and don't say please they won't get it or they'll not get an answer until they can ask the proper way. Maybe that sounds harsh, but that is rule in our home. My kids also know that they are expected to say thank you when they are given something. For example, my son thanks his t-ball coach after practice and he says thank you to whoever brought snack for that evening. If they are at a friends house they thank them and their parents when they leave for inviting them over. It's polite and I think it's important for my children to learn to be polite at a young age.

There are times when I'm busy and I'll ask my kids to do something for me and I'll forget the please and 9 times out of 10 they will remind me that I need to say please. I like that because it lets me know that they know how important to use their manners when asking for something. Another thing we've taught or kids is when someone asks them if they'd like something and they don't to say "No thank you" rather then just no. My son, who is six has started saying yes ma'am when asked to do things. I've never asked him to do this so I'm not sure where he picked it up, but I like it.

I think the reason this topic was on my mind today was because I was thinking of something someone once said to me in a parenting group. Our kids were quite a bit younger, but we had our two nieces for a Saturday. We went to the Children's Museum, which was very nice and spent the day/evening doing fun things. I can not remember a single time when either one of those kids ever said please or thank you. Even when they left that evening there was never a thank you. I was really surprised that they hadn't learned that you should thank someone if they do something nice for you. So I posted something about this in my mommy group wanting opinions and this lady told me that I was wrong to expect a please or thank you. She also told me that I was wrong to expect one from my children ever. She said they are our children and we do things because we love them and we shouldn't need to be thanked. I was truly baffled. I would be humiliated if my children spent an entire day with someone who took them to do something fun and never gave them a thank you. The thing is I see this all the time. We are constantly on the go with a four and six year old and I have ran into some of the rudest kids. I sometimes don't understand it when the parents are so polite and nice. I wonder who failed to teach these children some manners.

I feel that manners are very important. I think the way our children act reflect on how well we parent them and teach them things. Who wants a bunch of rude little kids running around? I know I don't and I'm sure many others don't as well!