How to Improve Your Child's Negative Attitude Toward School

Does your child hate school, and invent every excuse under the sun for taking a day off? Are you at your wit's end trying to figure out what to do about it? You, as his parent, are the key to changing his attitude into one that will have him viewing school as a comfortable substitute for home; a place he looks forward to spending his time.

Talk To Him About His Attitude Problem

Explain to him that school, like home, isn't going to be a barrel of fun every minute of the day, but that it should an overall good and worthwhile experience, and that if he is really miserable there, the two of you are going to have to figure out how to make things better for him. It is never too early to point out that getting a good education is going to affect how he lives for the rest of his life.

Talk about his goals. Give him examples of professions he might be unable to pursue without a good education. Make sure he knows that schools are not just a place your parents pack you off to every morning and pick you up from every night, but that school, in a sense, is a child's job. One that he should take pride in and enjoy.

Eliminate As Many Things As Possible That He Dislikes About School

Have your child list the things he doesn't like about school. His list may include things like, "I don't like my teacher's voice-she sounds screechy; Math is just too hard, and I will never learn how to do it; Jack sits pokes me with his pencil; we don't have enough time to do our work; the teacher hates me; the other kids hate me; I can't see the chalkboard; kids on the bus tease me; Jerry calls me big ears; school is boring; our classroom smells funny," etc. etc. etc.

Don't laugh at him or brush off any of the comments. To a child, every one of them may be seem to be a good reason to hate school. He needs to know that you are just as concerned with how his time at school is spent as you are with the time he spends with you at home.

Go over the list together to see if there are some items that he can handle on his own, and tell him you will talk to him again after he has had a chance to work with them for a day or two. Perhaps you can help him to see that people usually cannot help the tone of their voice, and that his teacher's screechy voice might not bother him so much if he thinks of her as a mother hen clucking at her little chicks to make sure they are getting enough to eat. His teacher is trying to make sure her students are learning the things they need to know before going on to the next grade.

Then take the more serious problems and see what you can do to solve them. Confide in the teacher that your child is less than thrilled with school, and that you are working to help improve that attitude. During the conversation, point out that your child has a problem seeing the chalkboard, or that a particular pencil-poking student uses him as a target. If you approach it with the idea that you are seeking help rather than being critical, most teachers are more than willing t o meet you halfway. (I would avoid the subject of her screechy voice, though.)

Talk to the bus driver when none of the kids are around. It's possible you may discover your own child is not the little angel he would have you believe he is. If he is truly being picked on, most bus drivers are happy to keep an eye out and do what they can to stop this type of behavior.

If Math or some other subject is a struggle for your child, make a point of working one-on-one with him until he has mastered that subject. If necessary, hire a tutor. It is cruel to let any child continue to flail around getting further and further behind his classmates in any subject. Curtail some extra-curricular activities for a while to make time if you have to, but see that he gets the help he needs to experience some measure of success.

Set A Good Example

Do you, as a parent, continually gripe about your job and co-workers, and frequently find excuses to take the day off? If the answer is yes, is it any wonder that your child is merely following your example?

Make a point of pointing out good points about your job. Act cheerful about going to work even when you think it might be more fun to spend the day at home, watching soaps on TV and lounging around in your pjs and slippers until noon. We all have days like that, but, if we want to raise kids that take their responsibilities seriously, we need to show them how to do it.

Finally, Don't Be Afraid To Praise Your Child When You See Improvements

Instead of waiting six or nine weeks until the next report card, make a habit of mentioning something you are proud of every couple of days. Maybe at the end of one particular week, you can celebrate his success in math by taking him to a Saturday matinee, or out for an ice cream treat. Another week, you may feel that you should let him know you appreciate his attitude about getting ready for school on time each day that week. Sometimes just a word of approval from you is better than an ice cream cone.

Try the suggestions above for a few months with your reluctant learner, I think you will begin to see real differences in his attitude toward school. In fact, the time may come when he thinks being at school is more fun than staying at home. When that day comes, give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.