How to Include Children in the Wedding Ceremony

A Family Affair

Amy Mullen
Many second time brides and grooms have children. Sometimes, couples that are marrying for the first time have them as well. This is a special day for everyone involved, and it is always nice to include children in the wedding ceremony. This sends them the message that it is not only a wedding between the adults; it is the joining and creation of a new family.

There are many ways to include children in the wedding ceremony, and only you can decide what is best. It may solely depend on the age and temperament of the children in question. If they are young, and tend to fidget, make sure they don't have a lot of responsibility. Make their part quick, yet important. Older children can have a more involved part in the ceremony.

One common way couples include children in the wedding ceremony is to have them be flower girls or ring bearers. The flower girl often wears a white dress, and the ring bearer wears a tux or suit that matches the rest of the groomsmen. Families love to see this, and the children feel that they are a special part of the event. Older children can also serve as bridesmaids or groomsmen.

Children can also have a small part of the ceremony if they are old enough to read or recite a poem. Younger children may not be able to say more than a few lines, while older children may be able to read a longer poem. This is a great way to include children in the wedding ceremony, as long as the children are comfortable with doing it.

You can include children in the wedding ceremony by having them do any number of small tasks. Children, who are old enough, usually over age 7 or 8, might want to light the candles in the church before the ceremony begins. If there is a bell to be rung after your vows have been taken, the children might be up for performing this task as well.

For something extra special, you can include the children in the wedding ceremony by giving them a special gift to mark the day. This can be anything, but jewelry is always a great choice. You can do this during the ceremony after you exchange rings. If you talk with your clergyperson, they should be more than willing to help you include this in your ceremony.

No matter what you do to include children in your wedding ceremony, the important thing is that you do. Children can get scared when a parent marries, or remarries, and may wonder about their new role in life. Including them in the ceremony lets them know that they are an important part of a newly created family.

Published by Amy Mullen

Amy lives in upstate New York. When she isn't writing she is encouraging her children to dream big.  View profile

1 Comments

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  • Jennifer Rogers8/16/2006

    I think that including the children is needed to make them feel a part of the experience. When my hubby and I were married, my 7 year old daughter was brought up and we had a "family" ceremony and took vows that included her. It was very emotional, but I feel it bonded us as a family from day one. Excellent article!

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