How to Install New Countertops-Not!

I love my ugly orange kitchen countertops. I no longer have plans to install new countertops.

A New House

When I bought my house 13 years ago, the kitchen countertops were orange, the mini-blinds in kitchen, living room and dining room were orange, and the carpet in the living room and dining room was orange. It was like living inside a jack-o-lantern.

Orange is one of my least favorite colors to start with. Being surrounded by it was a form of torture.

I hated it so much I'd made a much lower offer on the house just to be sure I could afford to replace all the carpeting before I moved in. I figured I'd replace the mini-blinds and install new countertops as soon as I could afford to.

New Carpet

So I bought the house, had lovely light gray carpet installed and moved in.

Well, as anyone who's bought a house knows, there are all kinds of expenses that eat up a new homeowner's income.

They go by names such as appliances, electric bills, insurance, upkeep. I lived with orange blinds and countertops for several years. I never stopped hating them.

Dust is my friend

Once I made the mistake of thinking the blinds would look better if I wiped the dust off them. After cleaning the first blind, I stepped back to admire my handiwork.

Instantly a nervous tic appeared on my face. The clean blind now looked ... ORANGE!

I hadn't realized that over time dust had built up on the slats of the blinds, causing them to look more and more gray. They were much less offensive looking with a thick layer of dust on them. Without the dust they were unbearable.

A miracle

Fast forward to a day when a small miracle occurred and the mini-blinds in the dining room and living room transformed into a lovely slate blue color. Happy me!

Uh-oh

Until I started noticing how bad the kitchen looked. It had always been ugly, but next to the now gorgeous colors in the dining room that adjoined it, it was the visual equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard.

I promptly started thinking about how to fix it. Replace the blinds in the kitchen, of course. Since the kitchen and dining room have no door between them, it made sense to get the same lovely slate blue color. I could just picture it there in the window! Aaaahhh. Sigh.

Uh-oh. Now that I've pictured the new blinds, I can see how the orange countertops will be a visual punch in the face every time I'm in that room. I can't have beautiful blue cheek-to-cheek with obnoxious orange, now can I?

What would it cost to install new countertops when I replace the blind? It would be a stretch, but maybe I could swing it. What should they look like? Mocha colored, maybe? Yes, I can picture that. Mocha, slate blue and light gray. Sounds lovely . . .

Uh-oh. If I install new countertops and they're beautiful, it will make the floor look even worse. I would need to replace the linoleum or maybe install tile. How much would that run?

Dollar signs

As the dollar signs start mounting up, my stomach starts twisting up. This is not in my carefully crafted budget.

And if I'm going to replace the blinds, install new countertops, and install new flooring, it would be dumb not to paint the walls and resurface the cupboards while I'm at it. That wouldn't cost much more, would it? Then I'd be done.

Except ... now the beautiful kitchen in my mind has ridiculously old appliances in the midst of its splendor. That would ruin the effect I would have just spent all that money on. I would need to update the appliances too.

Yikes, maybe a home equity loan? Isn't that what they're for? Then I'd be done.

Except ... now the radiant kitchen makes the furniture in the dining room look old and drab. It just isn't right. How much to ... ?

WHAM! That's when I got it. I understood. I could see the whole thing clearly laid out before me

There is no end

Once you start to remodel, there is NO END!

There was no way I could afford to do all the things I would feel compelled to do if I took the first step and replaced the kitchen blinds. I wouldn't be satisfied to install new countertops. I wouldn't be satisfied until I'd redone the whole house. And by that time the styles would have changed and I would have to start all over.

The more I thought about it, the more clearly I understood.

I'm talking about the kind of remodeling that's done strictly for aesthetics. If your stove is broken, for instance, you may need to replace it. That doesn't mean you need to replace it with a new one, however. And there are good deals on used stoves that someone else is getting rid of because the stove is "ugly."

A slave to fashion

So it all boils down to fashion. Once you start to play the fashion game, you are doomed to live an expensive lifestyle. There will always be some improvement to be made (and paid for). Fashion changes regularly so you are guaranteed to feel the urge to update way before things wear out.

Once I finally saw this, I had to accept the fact that I don't really want it.

Not bad enough to work as hard as it would take to earn enough money to pay for that lifestyle. Plus, if I had to work that much, then when would I have time to relax and enjoy my fabulous home?

New orange blinds

It was interesting to begin to look at my orange blinds in a new light.

Instead of the enemy, I could now view them as my savior. They were my guardian, protecting me from the ravages of the money-sucking fashion monster. They were the first step in the journey of a thousand steps. As long as I didn't replace them, I wouldn't take that first step! I would be safe from temptation! Safe from work-aholism! I was lucky, lucky, lucky!

An inner beauty

I don't hate my orange countertops anymore. They have a certain beauty. Of course, it's an inner beauty, but we all know that's what counts, right?

In a way, I did install new countertops. And just think, I saved hundreds of dollars by replacing my ugly orange countertops with nice-looking orange ones! And I did it all by myself!

Trouble ahead?

There is one troublesome little thing niggling at the back of my mind though.

These blinds are 27 years old. Some day the cords are going to disintegrate and I'm going to be forced to replace them.

When that time comes, will I replace them with something ugly to maintain my protection, or will I find myself thinking, "Well, since I have to replace them anyway, now might be a good time to look at some slate blue ...."