How to Keep Your Family Together While Travelling on Business

Our first mission trip was in 1995. The entire family went and that's how we thought all of the trips would be. However, I traveled for a women's ministry from 1996-1998, speaking in their conferences. I went without my family. Others took care of my son while I took the trips. Then in 1999, we took our first international trip. I took my son with me to Italy. On our way home from that trip I sat next to a person who told me that he and his wife traveled for international business on a regular basis. He gave me some very sound advice that I'm still following.

He told me that when he first got the job he had, the company had a policy of working the new trainees a lot of hours so that they spent a lot of odd hours away from their families. Once they were trained they were assigned a territory where they were able to set their own timetable. He said that some of the trainees decided to keep up with all of the hours away from their families and ended up losing their families. He and his wife decided that they wouldn't so that, since they both had to travel for work. They arranged their travel where they spent more time at home than away from home.

The other bit of advice that helped me came from a traveling evangelist who has traveled with her family for over 20 years all over the world. I asked her what she did to compensate for the sacrifice that her daughter went through being in all of the meetings and going all over the world missing what most typical kids can expect and sharing her parents with everyone else. She told me that she set aside special times where she and her
daughter went and did something that was important just for her daughter with no one else allowed to be involved.

Don't Stay Away From your family Any Longer Than Needed:

As soon as the job is done, return home. Don't stay away from your family any longer than needed to complete the job. There's no louder message that says "I love you." than hurrying home to be with your family as soon as you can, instead of spending that time, after the job is done, with your coworkers or the contacts you went to see.

Do Special Things With Your Family When You're Home With Them:

Spend special time with your family. Because that's why you became a family to begin with, right?! No matter how much you may explain it, they can't see you out on the trips. They only have your word that you would prefer to be with them. Unless, you show them that fact by planning time just for your family, alone without outside distractions. If your kids are teens, then plan special things for your child that is just for them and it's something that they really want.

Take your Family With You When You Can:

Include your family where you can. Don't shut them out of the trips, if there's an opportunity to include them. They'll get to be with you in a situation where they usually aren't and will be able to see more clearly what is involved with your trips and what you have to do to do the job. They'll see that it isn't a vacation, that you're not running away from them.

Use the Internet and the Phone to Keep in Regular Contact:

Don't just talk to them when you land and when you're leaving. They need to be connected to you on a regular basis. You need to be connected to them on a regular basis. Feed the hunger for your family by contacting them and keeping them and yourself in the loop. When I'm out on the road, my husband and I communicate every
day, either by phone or by Internet.

Bring Back Special Gifts That Say That You Really Are Thinking of Them:

Even if you don't have time until you're in the airport, take the time to get something special. That's actually how I discovered what wonderful malls airports can be. Of course, they can either be a good deal or a very bad deal. I also learned that taking flights with connections gave me more opportunities to look for that special
something. I even take flights that give me some extra time either on the way to my destination or on my way back home, so that I can shop. Many times we have to wait in the airport anyway, so why not take advantage of the time?!

Take Photos When You Can:

When you get home get the photos developed or download them if they're digital. Share them with your family and talk about your trip with them. It helps make the trips and the reason for them more real and easier to understand.

Save the Special Days For Your Family:

In all the years that I've been out on the road, I've made a point of not being out on the road during a holiday or special family day when avoidable. When I can't get around the timing we celebrate birthdays and holidays before I go, not after. That gives a loud message that our family isn't just an afterthought. It has also helped that since my husband has always worked jobs that have required a lot of flexibility we've rarely been able to celebrate a birthday or anniversary on the actual day, anyway.

Don't Get Comfortable With Being Away From Your Family

As human beings, many us prefer to be comfortable. But this is one area where it would not be wise. Learn to live with the discomfort. It'll keep you on your toes and aware that you're missing your family. It'll keep you connected to your family. Getting comfortable away from your family can cause you to drift away from your family.
Many divorces are blamed on too much separation. However, that's really not the cause. It's too much comfort in the separation that causes the divorce.

Notes-
Go only as long as the job needs it, then go home. Don't spend any more time out on the road than needed. Do special things with your family when you're home. Take your family when you can. Include them where you can. Don't shut them out of the trips. Use the Internet, or phone to communicate daily, if possible. Always get special thoughtful gifts. Take pictures where possible.

There was an Internet commercial about a little girl who hid her stuffed monkey in her dad's briefcase and his showing it on the Internet during his business trip. That's definitely the point. Our families and children need to be included. That's especially true when we aren't home with them every-night. It's easier for them to suspect that
we may not care as much as we say that we do. So, we need to include that encouragement and inclusion into our job description along with the trips.