How to Keep Friends as a Stay at Home Mom

The social lives of us stay at home moms can be very limiting. We spend our days caring for our little ones from sun up to sun down leaving us little or no time for communication with other adults. This lifestyle although rewarding, can become very lonesome. It becomes difficult for us to establish new friendships as we become so consumed with motherhood that we fall out of that social loop. When we do attempt to connect with other moms our friendships end way before they can even begin to prosper.

Friendships are important to maintain for everyone regardless of age. Because I know how difficult it can be to establish and keep friendships as a stay at home mom, I have included some simple tips below on how to keep a friendship.

1. Arrive to play dates on time. With children it is hard to arrive to any engagement on time but you should try your best not to keep your friend waiting. If you are going to be more than five minutes late be sure to give your friend a courtesy call to let her know.

2. Don't leave it to the other parent to arrange play dates. You should initiate play dates at least once every one to two weeks. Having your friend set up all the arrangements for a play date is a bit unfair and she may get tired of having to do so. You might feel too shy to call your friend to arrange a play date but a shy call is better than no call at all. When you call your friend ask her how often she would like to meet. If she leaves it up in the air call her once to twice a week to arrange a meet up.

3. Don't call too often too early or too late. You don't want to weird your friend out by calling her too much. She will begin to think that you are a burden and too clingy and will start to ignore you. You also do not want to call too late. You should use discretion when calling. The latest that you should call your friend should be around 6pm or 7pm. The earliest you should call your friend is around 10am-11am in the morning. Every parent is different and awakens, sleeps, and has dinner at different times of the day so if you are not sure what time is best to call ask your friend.

4. When you are on play dates be sure to discipline your children for wrongdoing. If you do not discipline your child for wrongdoing your friend might feel as though your child's behavior is a bad influence on their child and will start to ignore you.

5. When you are on play dates be warm to your friend's child. You want your friend's child to feel comfortable in your presence. Acknowledge the child by saying hello or by making small talk with the child.

6. Show your friend that she can trust you around her child. When you feel comfortable enough around your friend bring up the idea of separately taking each others kids out together. You can let your friend know that you trust her around your child and that you do not mind picking her kid up and taking him out with your child for a play date or if she needs to run errands.

7. Do not continuously make play dates at places that cost money. You can never really know your friend's financial status unless you ask. Your friend might appear to be well off but she might be secretly struggling to make ends meet. Do not assume that your friend will have an extra $5 to spend on a play date. Make play dates at free places such as the parks, library, or the beach.

8. Initially, make play dates with just the two of you and later on add on additional friends. Your friend might not be comfortable in large groups and that is why you should first establish a friendship with her and then slowly introduce any other friends or parents to your friend.

9. Don't inquire about personal matters. If your friend does not talk about matters in her personal life don't prod her, don't ask. You do not want to make her feel uncomfortable. The more comfortable she becomes with you the more she will open up to you. Wait for her to open up her personal life to you. If she thinks that you are too prying she might close you out of her personal life completely.

10. Don't invite yourself to your friend's home. This is an absolute no. Do not spontaneously show up on your friend's doorstep or suggest that you do play dates in her home. She might not be comfortable with this. If she lives a more modest lifestyle she might not feel comfortable allowing others into her home for fear of judgment. When she is ready to have you in her home she will invite you.

11. If you notice a change in other parent's behavior ask if things are okay. Noticing a change in your friend's behavior shows that you are aware and that you care. This will make your friend feel good.

12. Speak up if you feel something is wrong do not hold a grudge. If you do not like something that has happened between the children or even between the two of you speak up. Do not hold it in. Communication is the main key to having a great friendship.