How to Keep a Friendship Alive

Maggie OLeary
Friendships come and go. With the pace of today's society, it's hard to make new friends. It's always a great thing when you can repair a friendship and keep your relationship strong. The hard part is figuring out how to handle situations. Here are a few tips that I have found helpful in difficult situations with friends.

Remember to put yourself in the other person's shoes. How would you feel if you were the other person? Try to have compassion for their feelings, even if you don't feel that they deserve your compassion right now.

If you've heard something hurtful, whether first-hand, or from a third party, remember that the information you've heard may not be completely accurate. I've found that it sometimes help to forget the issue for a few days, until my feelings settle down, and revisit the issue when I am calmer. If you find that the information is true, forgive the person who wronged you. Not only does this save your friendship, but this helps you too, but reducing stress, and letting angry feelings go. Even though you have been hurt, try to be as understanding of others as you would want them to be of you. Also, wish good things for the person who hurt you. If you are religious, pray for the person who wronged you, as this is what Jesus instructs us to do.

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Try not to judge others. Judgment is unhealthy, both for you mentally, and the state of your relationship with your friend. Also, remember that other people have to be responsible for their own actions. Don't feel guilty for the actions of others, and don't try to push responsibility for your actions onto others.

When you are the one who has made a mistake or hurt someone else, apologize quickly and earnestly. It's up to the other person as to whether they want to accept or reject your apology - all you can do is extend the olive branch. Don't feel bad if they don't accept your apology right away. Also, let your remorse help you to learn ow to have compassion for others when they make mistakes.

If you think someone is disrespecting or making fun of you or someone you love, don't get angry. Show them compassion, and speak to them with kind words. Ask for blessings for the person who spoke unkindly about you. This in return will give you a blessing. Don't let anyone dictate how you act - everyone has freedom of choice. Exercise your freedom of choice within the constraints of the laws, but remember that others are free to exercise their freedom of choice.

Don't hide your hurts and pains and feelings inside where they will harden your heart. Work through your emotions, and talk to your friend. They may be unaware that there is a problem, and may only need to know that there is something wrong, to be able to fix it.

Communication and compassion are two of the biggest aspects of friendship. Without these, friendships don't last long. Good luck!

Published by Maggie OLeary - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle

Maggie O Leary served on active-duty in the United States Military from 1997 to 2010, before joining the Reserves. She is currently attending college full-time, pursuing a Bachelor s Degree in History. In ad...  View profile

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